


i can be what you need

by tusslee



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Eventual Relationships, Honest Conversations, M/M, Porn With Plot, Some angst, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, a late night drive, spoilers also, what am i doing???
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-17
Updated: 2017-03-30
Packaged: 2018-09-18 03:08:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9364931
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tusslee/pseuds/tusslee
Summary: Maybe this was what he needed, or if he didn’t need it he sure as hell wanted it.Seven and Jumin had more in common than they thought. Neither of them were sure what they were doing, but both of them were willing to find out.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm trash for these two, honestly

This was a bad idea, but all of Seven’s ideas recently had been bad so he silenced that part of his brain and fished his keys from his pocket to spin around his finger. He didn’t want to be here anymore and if he was being honest, he never wanted to come in the first place but it felt like an obligation. Seeing her with Jaehee shattered any shred of hope he was still hanging on to, not that it was much because he realized pretty early on that she only had eyes for Jaehee. Still, the thought of ‘what if’ floated around in his head every time he caught her eye from across the room. 

Seven didn’t deserve her anyway, he figured. He couldn’t involve her in his life if he wanted to keep her safe. This distance was good even though it hurt like a bitch. Maybe he was more attached to her than he realized. Then again, they were all pretty attached to her. It was odd how little time it took for her to wrap them all around her capable finger, but she was the equivalent of an angel as far as they were concerned. They were a bit brighter thanks to her shining personality and that was enough for Seven. It had to be. 

“Mr. Director! The handsome man in a suit! Cat Dad!” Seven greeted Jumin as he slid into the booth beside him, “You look like you’d rather be anywhere else than here.” 

“Luciel,” Jumin acknowledged then swallowed what wine was left in his glass, “how are you this evening?” Seven doubted Jumin really cared how he was, but it was always hard to tell with him.

“I,” Seven paused to think over his answer, “just came to say toodles. I’m gonna head out now.” Shit. He chickened out. Well, it was a stupid idea in the first place. There was no reason for him to want to spend quality time with Jumin other than he was lonely and Vanderwood wouldn’t be around to keep him company anytime soon. He could talk Yoosung into coming home with him for funsies, but Yoosung was too curious and asked too many questions that Seven never knew how to answer, which made him anxious. 

Jumin didn’t care. Jumin was safe. 

“The party will be ending within the next hour. Do you have to leave right now?” Jumin rose a neat brow in question. Seven rubbed the back of his neck then glanced around the busy room again. A lot of the guests had already left, but there were still quite a few of them hanging around. He could always use work as an excuse. His eyes fell on her again and he sighed. Jumin followed his line of sight, “Ah. I see.”

“There’s nothing to see.” Seven quickly averted his gaze.

Jumin gave him a look, “Do you think me that oblivious?” Seven shrugged as he propped an elbow on the table. “I believe you are all feeling a bit disappointed, but she made her choice. It’s senseless to pine after her now.” 

“Who’s pining? I’m not pining.” Seven waved a hand dismissively, “What about you, Juju? Are you disappointed too?” 

“Do not call me that. What would I have to be disappointed about?” Jumin fiddled with his glass idly while Seven appraised him.

“Oh, c’mon. You weren’t hoping she’d take an interest in you even a little bit?” Seven pressed, leaning closer to Jumin just to get under his skin. 

Jumin leaned away from him, frowning, “Is it not a bit pathetic to hope for such a thing? I had no interest to begin with and it was clear where her interests lied right from the start. It’s your own fault for letting your emotions get the best of you, Luciel.” 

Seven rolled his eyes and groaned as he slouched further down in his seat. He rested his head against Jumin’s shoulder, “So cold, Jumin. Not all of us can be robots, unfortunately.”

“Unfortunate indeed.” Jumin shrugged Seven off, “If you are leaving, however, I wonder if you’d like company.” Seven’s eyebrows shot up as he straightened.

“Mr. Trust Fund Kid wishes to accompany God Seven on a secret mission?! I accept! We’ll have to move sneakily through the crowd so we don’t get caught.” Seven couldn’t believe his stroke of luck. Who’d have thought Jumin would willingly tag along without prompting?

“This is not a secret mission, Luciel. We’re simply leaving. Let’s go before Assistant Kang requires me for something inane.” Jumin elbowed Seven until the redhead scooted out of the booth then let him lead them out the back entrance to where he parked his car. Jumin admired the vehicle, “This is yours?”

“Yup!” Seven ran a loving hand over his car, “God Seven’s babes are the best babes. Hop in Mr. Director and I’ll take you for the ride of your life.” Seven winked, hoping to squeeze some kind of reaction out of Jumin, but the man simply looked at him for a few more moments before climbing into the passenger seat. Well, it was a start.

The silence was deafening, or it felt that way to Seven, but Jumin seemed at ease as he watched out the window. Seven sped down the highway, weaving through light traffic as he searched for a decent topic of conversation. “You were eager to get out of there.” He said then glanced sideways at Jumin.

“I was avoiding V.” Jumin admitted.

“I didn’t even see him.” Seven couldn’t recall seeing the man at all through the night.

“No, I don’t believe he showed his face, but I still had no interest in taking that chance. I left my phone off for similar reason.” 

Seven didn’t understand and felt like it wasn’t his place to ask, but curiosity won out, “Did you two fight or something?” He wondered. 

“You could say that, although V is not one to argue. He merely states where he stands then throws apologies left and right as if they mean something.” Jumin drummed his fingers irritably against his knee, the only sign he wasn’t as composed as he sounded. Seven hummed his acknowledgment but left the conversation hanging since he didn’t know what to say. “Why were you in such a rush, Luciel? Obviously it’s not work related.”

“Why do you figure it’s not work related?” Seven’s grip on the wheel tightened. Maybe Jumin was more observant than he gave him credit for after all. 

Jumin clicked his tongue, “Would you not have refused me if that had been the case? I don’t believe you’d have dragged me along if you had something of importance to do.” He said as if it were obvious and in a way it was. He was definitely right. 

“Alright, so I just wanted some fresh air.” 

“I suppose it had nothing to do with watching her interact with Assistant Kang?” Jumin’s tone was almost sarcastic.

Seven ground his teeth together, “If that _were_ the case, then what? I told you before not everyone can be as robotic as you.” 

“You’re wasting your emotions on her, Luciel, just as you’re wasting them right now by getting upset with me when you and I both know it is the truth. Though, I’ve never seen you like this before so perhaps you had more than hope invested in her.” Jumin observed. 

Seven pushed the pedal to the floor and took the next exit then hit a backroad that led them out of town. He could drive as fast as he wanted out here where there was nothing but empty road stretched ahead of him. 

“It was stupid. I knew better, but I still… it was a mistake to bring you along. I thought you’d wanna talk about Elly or about your company. I wasn’t counting on you throwing the truth in my face.” Seven admitted. 

Jumin chuckled, “I’d have thought you knew me better than that.”

“Why’d you want to tag along anyway?” Seven wondered. Jumin hardly showed any interest in him or his hobbies before, rather he tried to actively avoid him more often than not. 

“Would you believe me if I said curiosity?” Jumin asked. Seven glanced over at him to find him smirking. This was definitely an odd turn of events. 

“Who are you and what have you done with Mr. Han?” Seven’s phone lit up from where it sat in the cup holder, but he ignored it. He appraised Jumin from the corner of his eye and eased up on the gas some. “I’d bet you wanted a distraction. Curious my ass.”

Jumin hummed, “You’re right. I don’t like feeling upset so I thought you would be a good distraction for the time being. I was right, though talking about this sort of thing is not exactly helping. Where are we going?” 

“I don’t know, I’m just driving. Have you never just driven aimlessly before?” Seven pushed a button on the steering wheel that turned on the radio so there was some kind of background noise. 

“I don’t tend to drive.” Jumin said. Not that he _couldn’t_ drive, he just didn’t. That’s what he had a driver for. That and he didn’t see the sense in driving around for no reason in particular. He was a busy man, there was no time to explore backstreets, or long stretches of highway. 

Seven’s previously tense posture relaxed with the change in subject. He propped his arm that wasn’t occupied with the wheel against the window, “It’s therapeutic… for me at least. It gives me time to think and clear my head. Usually I have music blaring so the silence doesn’t get to me. It’s rare that I have an extra person to cart around unless I’m hanging out with Yoosung.” 

“You can stick to your routine if you like. I don’t mind music.” Jumin worked his tie loose then unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt. He was mildly curious to learn what type of music Luciel listened to. He didn’t have much time for casual listening, but there were occasions when he was home and the penthouse was just too quiet. 

“Sure? If you don’t like it you can change it.” Seven grabbed his phone and connected it to his car via Bluetooth fairly quickly then set his playlist to shuffle. “I have quite the variety because my taste changes with my mood, so find something you like.” He said as he pointed to the button to switch songs. 

Flume began to play softly in the background until Jumin turned the volume up and pursed his lips in thought, “It’s strange.” Seven shrugged. Jumin skipped to the next song, eyebrows furrowing when Pearl Jam filled the car. “It’s a bit loud.”

“You think that’s loud.” Seven laughed then switched the song. 

“Dirty laundry?” Jumin raised his brows as he read the name of the song, “That’s… creative.” 

Seven snickered, “Blackbear. He’s got some good stuff. What do you usually listen to? Something like Debussy? Classic stuff?” Jumin shot him an amused look. 

“You know Debussy?”

“What am I, uncultured? I told you my taste is all over the place. Keep skimming, you’ll find something good. Maybe something new.” Jumin obliged, skipping over Glass Animals, Staind, the Chainsmokers, then stopped when he found Clair de Lune. “Told you.” 

Both of them lapsed into a comfortable silence to appreciate the music. Jumin looked more relaxed now, especially more so than he was while still at the party. Seven thought it was a good look on him. This softer, more playful side to Jumin wasn’t something he was very familiar with, but found it suited him even if it was a bit odd. 

So maybe it hadn’t been as stupid an idea as he thought. With Jumin, there was a mutual understanding about lines that couldn’t be crossed. Seven thought they both struggled with their emotions and figured if anyone could understand that side of him, it’d be Jumin. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to get out of this, this one-on-one time. Maybe a better idea of how Jumin acted when he wasn’t putting on a show for people, when he could just _be_ without the need to try and impress someone constantly. 

When the song came to an end, Seven clicked the system off before the next one could begin, “I was going to ask you to leave with me earlier.” He found himself admitting. He could feel Jumin’s eyes on him, but refused to look over.

“Why?” 

Yeah, Seven, why? Shit. He shouldn’t have said anything. This was opening the door to more honest a conversation than he wanted to have, but he opened his mouth anyway, “Because I wanted to spend some time with you.” TOO HONEST. His brain screamed at him. 

“Why?” Jumin asked again. 

Shit. He didn’t know.

“Because you’re safe.” 

STOP TALKING.

“Safe?” Seven finally glanced over to see Jumin staring at him with a puzzled expression and quirked eyebrow. He felt himself flush then eased off the gas until he was hardly going twenty in a fifty-five. 

“Y-yeah.” Seven cleared his throat, “Like, Yoosung asks a lot of questions. He always tries to shove his nose into my work and he worries about my eating habits even though his own are horrible. He _cares_ too much. But you’re safe. You don’t care about my work, or if I eat anything other than Honey Buddha chips. So, I thought it might be a good…”

“Distraction.” Jumin supplied when Seven’s brain failed him. Seven nodded and gripped the steering wheel a little tighter before he slowed even more and coasted to the side of the road until he completely braked and parked the car. He stared down at his lap, unsure what else to say now that he’d basically dropped his thoughts in Jumin’s lap. “You’re wrong.” 

Seven ran a nervous hand through his hair as he glanced sideways at Jumin, “What?”

“You’re wrong. You think I don’t care, but that’s not true. While I do not waste my time worrying about useless things, I do still worry about the RFA members and that includes you, Luciel.” Jumin held his gaze until Seven felt himself blushing and looked away. “Yoosung cares for you. He thinks of you as a brother so you cannot fault him for voicing his concerns. Just because I do not make my worries known, does not mean I have any less than the other members. You are important to all of us.” 

Shit, Seven wasn’t expecting this. He didn’t need another lecture. He didn’t need Jumin making him feel like he mattered when he didn’t. “You don’t understand.” He mumbled.

“I don’t have to. These are just facts. You can run as far as you want, Luciel, but you cannot make us forget about you. Remember that when you think of leaving.” Jumin’s seriousness was nearly palpable and Seven didn’t like it. His mask felt like it was beginning to crack. If he wasn’t careful, Jumin would see right through him if he didn’t already. 

“Okay. Yeah, thanks.” Seven nodded as he twisted his hands uncomfortably in his lap. He should have kept driving, should have kept his mouth shut, should have left alone and gone home like he was planning to. It would have been so much easier than whatever this was. Since when did Jumin try to _comfort_ him? 

Jumin cleared his throat, grabbing Seven’s attention again, “It’s quite late. Do you think you would mind taking me home? If you’d rather not, I can always call Driver Kim.”

Seven shook his head to clear his thoughts then stepped on the brake harder than necessary when shifting into drive again, “It’s fine. I don’t mind.” He forced a grin then made a U-turn in the middle of the deserted road and began heading back in the direction they came from. 

The forty minutes it took to drive back to Jumin’s penthouse was filled with Seven’s strange compilation of music from every genre and an awkward silence between songs. Jumin didn’t speak again so neither did Seven. He wouldn’t have known what to say anyway. He felt like he was too open, too honest with Jumin tonight and didn’t know where that honesty came from. 

Jumin just felt _safe_. 

“Your humble abode, Mr. Director.” Seven said after turning the music down and parking. 

“Thank you.” Jumin hesitated with a hand on the door handle. “It’s fairly late, Luciel.”

Seven shrugged, “Nothing God Seven can’t handle. The stars can keep me company on the drive home.” 

“Why don’t you come in?” It was more of command than it was a question, like most of what Jumin “asked” was. 

“Inviting a lady home after the first date, how shameless! What would the press think? What a scandal!” Seven pressed a hand to his chest as he batted his eyelashes, “Whatever are you going to do with me, Mr. Han?” He played up the act in an attempt to make Jumin uncomfortable, but it didn’t seem to faze the man in the least. He stared at Seven with a bored expression as if waiting for him to finish.

“I’d simply like to talk, perhaps over some wine. Unless you have business to attend to?” Jumin’s grey eyes held Seven’s as Seven began to panic and search for an excuse. 

“Uh-ah, work! I don’t have any work. I-I could?” No he couldn’t. He _shouldn’t_. “For a little while, I guess.” Would it really hurt? They were friends. Friends could talk. He talked to Yoosung all the time. This would be fine. Seven pulled his keys from the ignition and stepped out of his car to follow Jumin inside. 

_What am I doing? Why am I so nervous about this? Just play it off, no sweat. A chance to see Elly! Precious Elly!_ Seven's thoughts raced as he shifted uneasily from foot to foot the entire elevator ride and then he stood rather than sat while Jumin fetched the wine. Elly was nowhere in sight, sadly. 

Jumin returned with two glasses, but Seven wasn’t interested. Jumin’s place was almost eerily quiet. A clock ticked from somewhere, though Seven could place where, and he could hear his own heartbeat in his ears, but other than that it was silent. He cleared his throat, “Look, Jumin.” He said as he turned to face the older man, “If what I said made you uncomfortable, or worry unnecessarily, just forget about it. It’s not important and I don’t need to talk my feelings out or whatever. I’m sure you’re not interested either.” 

Jumin twisted the stem of his wine glass between his fingers as he observed Seven’s fidgeting, “I am interested. Perhaps not in talking about feelings, but just in general. I rarely see you in such a state and I’m curious to know why you’re so on edge. It’s unlike you to be so honest. I’ll admit that caught me off guard, but I liked hearing that you thought of me that way.”

What did that mean? “I don’t know why I said that.”

“Do you not think we’re alike in certain aspects, Luciel?” Jumin raised his glass to his lips while Seven considered the question. Of course they were alike. He and Jumin both wore masks, albeit very different ones. Seven slapped on a smiling face while Jumin stayed cold as ice. Polar opposites, both hidden beneath their respective surfaces. Underneath, they were too broken, too stuck in the past, too much of everything, yet somehow never really enough for themselves. “I thought so.” A faint smile passed over Jumin’s lips, but it felt sad and was gone in an instant. 

“Why did you invite me in?” Seven’s playful mood had evaporated, leaving him feeling defeated and tired. 

Jumin sat back after setting his wine down and worked his tie loose till it came sliding from around his neck, “As I said, to talk. It’s rare I have visitors, less so that I have visitors I actually enjoy conversing with. Perhaps I did not want to be alone.” 

Seven’s eyes widened with the admittance. Jumin Han didn’t get _lonely_. He always said Elizabeth was all he needed. Seven could recall the conversation, it was one they’d had several times over in the chat, but here he was admitting that he wanted company. Seven’s company. Because he’d be alone otherwise. And that would be an unwanted thing. 

“Forgive me, that was straightforward, but it was the truth.” Jumin’s voice was soft. Seven didn’t understand any of what was happening this evening. 

“Jumin, what are we doing?” Seven sought out Jumin’s usually steely eyes, but found a storm instead. Jumin looked as conflicted as Seven felt, which made no sense. He was the composed one, the hard one, the unfeeling one. 

“I’m unsure.” Jumin’s response was not what Seven had been hoping for. He wanted to know why he felt like breaking down and crying, why Jumin’s eyes looked like rolling storm clouds, why he wanted to reach out and touch him just to be sure he was real. “I believe I’m having a bad night. This is unusual for me, but you said before that I was safe. I think you are similar.”

Did that mean Jumin thought of Seven as safe? 

“I feel as though I’m losing V, who has always been right at my side. I’ve always been alone, so this feeling is nothing new, but without V it’s quite… difficult. See, I don’t know why I can tell this to you, but I feel as though your opinion of me will not change solely because I am not as unfeeling as you think me. I’m human after all.” Jumin dropped his gaze from Seven’s wide eyes to his lap as he spoke then grabbed his wine to distract himself from the uncomfortable feeling stirring inside of him.

“So you miss him.” Seven said and received a curt nod. “There’s someone I miss, too. I know what it feels like to be that alone, but Yoosung always tells me I’m not alone. He reminds me I have him and the RFA, but sometimes that doesn’t feel like what I need.” Seven searched Jumin’s eyes when they found his own again. “Sometimes that’s not enough. Some people can’t completely fill those holes.” 

Where was this all coming from? Seven didn’t know, but he wanted desperately to feel this small connection between them. 

“I thought _she_ could maybe fill the gap and she did for a little while. She listened when I talked, actually heard what I was saying, but I don’t blame her for following her heart. I knew it was never me, but I let myself think for a moment that it could have been. Not only would I put her in danger, but I wouldn’t know how to keep her happy. I’m not built to make a relationship work. My brains not wired for that sort of thing.” 

“You still wanted it, though.” Jumin said. 

Seven nodded, “I wanted to make her happy since I couldn’t make s-someone else happy.” His voice caught in his throat as he spoke. Jumin set his now empty glass down and slid closer to Seven, a tentative hand coming to rest on his arm. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all this. I don’t know why you invited me here, or why I wanted to leave with you earlier. I don’t know why it’s so easy to crumble in front of you, but it is. I should leave.”

“You’re not going anywhere, Luciel.” Jumin’s grip on Seven’s arm tightened when Seven made to move. “I’m willing,” Jumin swallowed nervously before continuing, “I’m willing to be whatever it is you need. In exchange I’d ask for you to do the same.”

“I don’t know what it is I need.” Seven mumbled. What kind of weird agreement was this? What did Jumin want from him?

“When you figure it out you can tell me.” Jumin assured.

Seven glanced down at Jumin’s hand that was still gripping him tightly, as if he was afraid that if he let go Seven would disappear. Perhaps he was and what he needed was someone willing to stay. So, Seven nodded slowly, “Okay, yeah. Okay.” Jumin smiled, a small, genuine smile and it made Seven’s heart beat a little bit faster. He cleared his throat, “What, uh, what is it that you want… or need I guess.”

Jumin’s hand slid up Seven’s arm until his fingers brushed against his neck, making Seven shiver involuntarily. He held his breath when Jumin leaned a little bit closer, “What I want and need are two different things, but since you are asking.” Seven didn’t have time to blink before Jumin’s lips were pressing against his own. He wasn’t sure what he’d been expecting, but it hadn't been _this_. Though, he couldn’t find that he was displeased. If anything, he was only surprised, but that faded fast when Jumin’s fingers tangled in the hair at the nape of his neck. 

Seven returned the kiss shyly, lips fitting clumsily against Jumin’s until they found a rhythm. Seven heard a soft hum and only realized too late that _he_ was the one making the sound. Jumin’s tongue ran along the seam of his lips until Seven parted them, then he could taste the blackberry wine Jumin had been drinking and that was all it took to make him feel drunk. 

Maybe this was what he needed, or if he didn’t need it he sure as hell wanted it. His fingers slipped into Jumin’s hair and pulled, forcing a small groan from the man’s throat. Seven wanted to hear more of that, but before he could, Jumin pulled away. They were both out of breath and slightly disheveled. Jumin’s cheeks were flushed, but Seven figured he was no better off. 

“Tell me, Luciel, will you allow me to have what it is I want?” Jumin pushed Seven’s hair back from his forehead as he looked at him. His eyes were dark and still stormy, but softer than before. 

“Am I still just a distraction?” Seven wondered. For some reason he needed to feel validated, like Jumin didn’t just need to get his rocks off once and send him home afterward. He wanted to feel needed. 

Jumin smiled again. The gesture made Seven’s stomach do little flips, “You’re safe.”

“Because I don’t care?” Seven asked as his eyebrows furrowed. 

“No, because you _do_.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk where this is going, but it's going somewhere apparently. I wanted porn so I wrote porn *fingerguns*

Seven didn’t know what the fuck he was doing anymore. Any and all lines he’d scribbled down for himself had been stepped over, scrubbed away, or completely ignored because he sat with his hands fisted in Jumin Han’s hair, in Jumin Han’s lap, with his tongue down _Jumin Han’s_ throat. 

_But it’s fine._ He kept telling himself, _Jumin was safe. Jumin wanted him, needed him even._

It had never occurred to Seven that Jumin could make the sort of sounds he was making. The soft groans that he let slip between their open mouths only acted as a catalyst, fueling Seven’s pent up lust and quelling any self-control he had left. Jumin tasted like blackberry wine and something else he couldn’t put a name to that was uniquely _Jumin_. Seven had kissed his fair share of people, but never like this. He couldn’t drag in enough air to sate his lungs, but he wasn’t willing to pull away first. 

Eventually, Jumin broke their kiss and stared up at Seven with lidded eyes and a faint smirk playing on his lips. Had the tension between them always been this thick? Had Jumin always looked so good? How far was he planning to take this? 

“You look like you no longer want to do this.” Jumin mused as his hands that were resting on Seven’s sides slid up and then back down. His thumbs dug into Seven’s hips deliciously until Seven could feel the bite of his nails against his skin. 

“D-do what?” Seven hadn’t meant to sound so shy, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little bit panicky. It’d been years since he’d touched another person like this, months since he’d even thought to. 

Jumin pulled Seven’s glasses off to set them beside them on the couch then dragged a hand through Seven’s mess of hair, “I have no intention to force you into anything you’re uncomfortable with, Luciel. I cannot lie, though, and say I do not want you. You asked me what I wanted, what I needed and it’s this. This is all I know how to do properly. These feelings that I cannot name are useless to me.”

“Getting this close to me will only put you in danger. My relationships start and end within the span of a night. It’s been years since I last touched someone this intimately.” Seven murmured as he ran a finger along Jumin’s jaw then down his neck. His pulse raced beneath his fingers. “I’m afraid. I worry I can’t protect you. If something went wrong I’d never forgive myself. People like me can’t afford to have these feelings, they only get in the way.”

Jumin wrapped an arm around Seven’s waist to pull him closer until their chests were touching and he could see the fear dancing in Seven’s eyes. “We can agree on that at least.” 

Seven nodded then wrapped his arms around Jumin’s neck as he leaned in until their lips were brushing, “I’m selfish, though.” He whispered against Jumin’s mouth. 

He felt Jumin smile, “As am I.”

Despite everything that was telling him to break this off, Seven kissed Jumin with no intention of stopping. It was wet, hot, and a little bit desperate. Jumin untucked Seven’s dress shirt from his slacks and slid his hands up smooth sides then back down his chest, thumbs brushing over already attentive nipples. Seven pressed into his touch with a low moan in his throat. He sucked on Jumin’s tongue, nipped at his bottom lip, urged him on with a roll of his hips. 

Seven’s hands shook as he worked on unbuttoning the rest of Jumin’s shirt blindly. Jumin caught Seven’s tongue between his teeth and bit down until Seven was whining and could taste blood. His head was spinning and his body tingling. He broke away gasping to meet Jumin’s dark eyes that were already on him. He wore an almost sadistic smile that made Seven shudder. 

Jumin shifted his hold on Seven until he had both arms around him securely and stood. Seven yelped and clung to Jumin, “I can walk!” He reminded, but Jumin ignored him as he carried him to the bedroom then dropped him on to the bed.

“What, was that not romantic?” Jumin cocked his head to the side and grinned at Seven. He shrugged out of his unbuttoned shirt, letting it fall to the floor, then worked his belt lose until it came sliding from around his waist with a sound that made Seven swallow hard. He eyed the belt, considered asking Jumin to tie him up, or to let him tie Jumin up, but he was impatient. 

“Maybe we have different ideas of romance.” Seven said then unbuttoned his own shirt while Jumin watched. He was very conscious of Jumin’s eyes on him, following his every move. He was used to being the dominant one, but this was a nice change and he’d willingly allow Jumin to take control if he kept looking at him like that. 

Jumin pressed Seven back after the redhead managed to wiggle out of his shirt then hovered over him, dark eyes running up and down his body. “You’re prettier than I imagined.” Jumin said thoughtfully. Seven blushed at the compliment and cleared his throat. Jumin’s thigh was just close enough for him to feel the faint pressure against his cock, but it wasn’t enough to sate the pooling desire. 

“Jumin…” Seven whined as he rocked his hips up, “do something about this.” Jumin bit his bottom lip to keep from smiling as he gripped Seven’s hip, pulling up as he pressed his thigh harder against him. Seven groaned then wrapped his arms around Jumin’s neck to drag him down into a disaster of a kiss that was more teeth and tongue than it was lips. Jumin fit himself between Seven’s legs until Seven could feel Jumin’s own arousal pressing against his hip. 

Something like pride flooded through him at the knowledge that he could do this to Jumin. His fingers tangled in dark hair then he slid his other hand between them until he found the button of Jumin’s pants. He shoved his hand in once he managed to work it lose and giggled when Jumin rocked into his touch. Seven kissed along Jumin’s jaw then down his neck, nipping as he went until Jumin let out a soft, pleasured sound. He paid more attention to that spot, sucking a pretty bruise to the surface of Jumin’s pale skin. He flicked his tongue over it as he dragged his fingers along the length of Jumin’s still-clothed cock.

Jumin’s patience seemed to snap then because he was sat up between Seven’s legs undoing Seven’s belt as quickly as he could manage with trembling hands. Seven found he liked seeing this disheveled, passion-driven side of Jumin. They were both strung tight with desire, both eager to be free of what little cloth still restrained them. Seven shoved Jumin’s slacks down his hips as Jumin stripped him of his own dress pants, leaving Seven in a black pair of panties that seemed to throw Jumin off. Seven watched his Adam’s apple bob as he swallowed hard. His fingers hooked in the waistband of the panties and snapped them against Seven’s hip. 

“You wear these often?” He asked, dark eyes flicking up to meet Seven’s. 

“They’re comfortable.” Seven insisted. Plus he liked the way they made him look and feel. It was his own little secret. Jumin shook his head in disbelief then bent lower to brush his lips over the head of Seven’s cock that was barely peeking out from the waistband of his underwear. Seven’s hand went to Jumin’s hair as he watched wide-eyed. Jumin trailed feather-light kisses along the length of Seven’s cock. He could feel his tongue brushing against the thin fabric, soaking the cloth and making it cling to his arousal. “Jumin,” Seven panted. 

Jumin dragged the lace down Seven’s pale thighs and off, admiring his naked form splayed out beneath him. “I’m keeping these.” He informed before he tucked the panties into his pocket and stood to undress the rest of the way. Seven propped himself up on his elbows to watch as Jumin stepped out of his dress pants and briefs. He was stunning to say the least. Those suits, while they did him justice, hid everything away. Seven’s mouth watered when his focus dropped to Jumin’s flushed cock curved up toward his belly. He sat up eagerly and slid to the edge of the bed, motioning Jumin forward until the man stood between his legs, cock only a breath away from his lips. Seven hardly hesitated to close the distance between them. He gripped Jumin’s hips to keep him still as he dragged his tongue from base to tip, pressing a kiss to the head before he grinned up at Jumin. 

Seven flicked his tongue out to catch the bead of precome that collected at the tip, the taste bitter, but near addictive. Jumin threaded his fingers through Seven’s hair encouragingly, petting him almost. Seven hummed happily as he wrapped his lips around the head of Jumin’s cock. The audible intake of breath made him smile. Jumin’s hips jerked forward as Seven laved the underside of his cock, but he managed to take him without choking. He let Jumin set the rhythm as he focused on pleasuring him. Seven’s free hand fell to his own cock, only managing to get in a couple of quick strokes before Jumin was pulling away and pinning him down. 

“I can’t help myself, Luciel. You better stop me right now if you do not want this to go any further, otherwise I’m afraid I will have to make you mine.” Seven flushed when Jumin put it that way, but he didn’t want to stop. 

“If you stop now, Jumin, I swear-

Jumin didn’t give Seven a chance to finish his sentence. The slide of Jumin’s cock against his own had him whining shamelessly into the older man’s mouth. He was so wound up he swore he could come at the drop of a hat. Jumin didn’t stay, though. After kissing him thoroughly, Jumin stood to rummage through a drawer in his nightstand until he found what he was looking for and returned with a condom and small bottle of lube. Seven flushed and squeezed his legs together nervously. “Go easy on me, Mr. Director. It’s been a while.” 

“It baffles me that you can still be this playful in a situation such as this.” Jumin said, hint of amusement coloring his tone. Seven grinned then rolled over onto his hands and knees with his ass in the air. 

“Am I ruining the mood?” He asked as he wiggled his hips. He glanced over his shoulder to watch Jumin settle behind him, hand sliding up the back of his thigh and making Seven shiver.

“On the contrary. I find it refreshing. I’d expect nothing else from you, I suppose. You’ll tell me if I hurt you?”

Seven nodded then heard the cap of the bottle pop open, “Sure, sure.” He hid his face in his arms when he felt Jumin’s finger press against him. Relaxing was always the hard part, but he managed. It helped that Jumin seemed to know what he was doing, which was interesting. The slight burn faded quickly and left a familiar pressure behind until Jumin’s long finger brushed over that spot inside him that made him quake. “Ssshit…” Seven breathed as he pushed back in hopes to keep that pressure right there. Jumin wasn’t so kind. A second finger joined the first, stretching him slowly but surely. After the third, Seven was panting. His cock was throbbing and his body was trembling with the onslaught of pleasure when Jumin paid special attention to that bundle of nerves. “Okay, okay! I’m fucking ready…” 

“Roll over.” Jumin commanded. Seven did as told, rolling over onto his back to stare up at Jumin as he hovered over him. Jumin’s eyes were darker than Seven had ever seen and he could see his pulse fluttering in his neck. His breath came out in quick, hot puffs against Seven’s face. A warm hand slid up his thigh then hiked it up until Seven took the hint and wrapped his leg around Jumin’s waist. Jumin had already rolled the condom on and was holding his breath as he positioned himself and slowly pressed in. Seven stilled beneath him, mouth hanging open with his breath stuck in his chest. The slight pain was hardly distinguishable from the pleasure that shot up his spine. Jumin fit him _so well_. 

Seven’s heel dug into Jumin’s lower back as he forced him closer, deeper. They both stayed like that for a moment and tried to catch their breath, but Jumin was impatient. He rolled his hips experimentally, earning a drawn out groan from Seven. “Hurt?” He asked worriedly.

“No,” Seven shook his head, “feels really, _really_ good. Keep moving.” He practically begged. Jumin obliged, slowly pulling out then pushing back in until he set a tortuously slow pace that had Seven clinging to him. “Faster, faster..” He pleaded as he dragged his nails down Jumin’s back. That got his attention and sent any worry he had about hurting Seven out the window. Seven yelped when Jumin shoved his knees up and fucked him harder, every thrust driving him deeper with the new angle. His back arched when Jumin’s cock hit his prostate dead on. His fingers slid up his biceps, dug into his shoulders, then down his back, “T-there, Jumin..!” 

Jumin released his hold on Seven’s legs and fell forward, only managing to hold his full weight off of Seven with an elbow on either side of his head. His forehead dropped to Seven’s shoulder where he panted and left hot, open-mouthed kisses against his sweaty skin. He was murmuring something Seven couldn’t quite make out, but it wasn’t important. He was so close, he could hardly focus on anything else other than the delicious drag of Jumin’s cock inside of him. He managed to fit a hand between them and nearly came the second his fingers wrapped around himself. “J-Jumin, Jumin…!” Seven inhaled sharply when the pleasure overwhelmed him without warning. His body shook with the intensity of his orgasm.

With one last hard thrust, Jumin came too and through his haze, Seven heard him whimper a name that wasn’t his. One that sounded a lot like, “Jihyun”.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these chapters are getting shorter, but lets pretend they're not

The spray of hot water wasn’t enough to scrub away what they’d done. 

Seven could still smell Jumin’s cologne. He could still feel his fingers skimming over his body, his lips against his throat. It all made him feel a little bit sick, but giddy in a twisted sort of way. 

There was a part of him that wanted to scrub his skin raw until he no longer felt dirty, but another part of him _liked_ feeling dirty. 

Neither of them had spoken afterward aside from Jumin pointing Seven in the direction of the guest bathroom. The regret was like a tangible thing rolling off Jumin in waves, but his face was once again a stone-cold mask. Obviously, Jumin hadn’t meant for Seven to have heard what he’d apparently been thinking about, but oh he’d heard. Seven supposed it made sense.

They were alike. More alike than Seven wanted to admit even. Both chasing after something they couldn’t have, but Seven got the feeling that Jumin _had_ had once upon a time. 

Mr. Robot Director wasn’t so unfeeling as previously thought to be. Part of him wanted to be offended and perhaps a small bit of him was, but he was more so sad than anything else. The immediate shock and anger that followed Jumin’s slipup ebbed away after he stood under the scalding water for some time.

It wasn’t like Seven had some hopeless crush on the Trust Fund Kid, but it definitely hurt to know he’d been nothing but a replacement. He’d figured at least Jumin wanted him for him, but that was silly. That was laughable and he did laugh, but the sound was manic, humorless. It was a mistake, which could easily be brushed off and forgotten about so long as Seven got ahold of himself. He hadn’t been expecting this, their one-off or whatever, to develop into some weird deep personal connection or anything, but it’d felt like _more_ than anything else he’d had before. That wasn’t saying much, but it was saying _something_. 

The water turned cold, effectively snapping him out of his thoughts. He shivered as he cut the water off then stepped out and wrapped a towel around himself. They could come back from this, he was sure of it. He didn’t even see Jumin that often and both of them were apparently really good at keeping secrets so this was nothing. It shouldn’t matter anyway, he didn’t have _feelings_ for Jumin, but he liked being honest for once. Nobody else heard him when he talked.

Jumin was sat on the edge of his bed when Seven returned to hunt down his clothes. The atmosphere was… awkward. He didn’t like it and immediately wanted to crack a joke, but nothing came to mind that wasn’t insensitive. Instead, he kept his mouth shut as he scooped up his clothes and hurried to dress. Jumin still had his underwear, but appeared not to care so Seven pretended not to too. Jumin cleared his throat, grabbing Seven’s attention as he worked on buttoning up his shirt.

“I apologize, Luciel. You must feel very foolish” Seven snorted, but quickly slapped a hand over his mouth to shut himself up. _That_ was an understatement, Mr. Han. He felt like a complete idiot. “I’d like to further explain myself in hopes that you’ll understand. Please sit.” Seven sighed, but sat down near the end of the bed to leave some space between them. 

“You don’t have to explain yourself. I can put two and two together.” Seven crossed and uncrossed his legs anxiously. He didn’t know what to do with himself, or why he felt so fidgety, or why Jumin looked like such a broken man. What the hell were they even trying to do here?

“I would feel better if you heard me out. We were very sincere with each other earlier this evening and I’d like to carry on with that train of thought.”

Seven sighed, “Alright.” He waved a hand for Jumin to go on then fell back against the sheets and closed his eyes. “I’m listening.” He could already predict where this story would go and there were two directions it could take. Either Jumin had these secret, unrequited feelings for V, or they’d been intimate before and Jumin was still hung up on it. Regardless, it was a mess. 

“I’d first like to clarify that I enjoyed myself.” Blunt. Too blunt. Seven slapped a hand over his face to hide his embarrassment. No shit, he enjoyed himself. “I’m aware that you are probably thinking I used you.” _Probably?_ “But, that’s not the case. Or if it is, it was unintentional.” Well, that just made everything better, didn’t it. An accident. Whoops. Sorry, Seven, I know we’re fucking, but all I can think about is my flaky best friend who I used to bang and who is now hung up on his dead lover. Haha, we’re still friends right?

“Luciel?” Seven’s attention snapped back to the man who now had a hand on his knee and a worried expression on his face. Seven jerked out from under his touch and sat up straight again.

“What?”

“You were not listening.” Jumin said with a frown as he drew his hand back into his lap. 

Seven scrubbed a hand over his face in exasperation. He couldn’t do this right now. “Jumin, look. I’m sorry we got carried away here. I’m not all bent out of shape about the V thing, I get it. Sort of.” He shook his head, “It doesn’t matter. What happened doesn’t matter. Call it heat of the moment, or whatever will ease the regret, but it’s late as fuck and I want to go home.” 

“Regret?” Jumin’s eyebrows furrowed, “I do not regret what transpired between us. I only regret letting that name slip when it was you beneath me. You did not deserve that. I am aware I sound like I’m making excuses for myself and perhaps I am, but that does not change the fact that I feel like shit.” Seven rubbed tiredly at his eyes before stifling a yawn.

“Like I said, it’s fine.”

Jumin cut him off before he could continue, “It is not fine. Nothing about this is fine.”

“Well, I don’t know what you want me to say, Jumin!” Seven stood abruptly and began to pace with his hands raking through his hair. “In any other situation, I’d have left by now. I don’t fuck around with people I know for this exact reason. It _complicates_ things. It evokes feelings that I can’t afford to have, nor do I really want to deal with. I don’t know where you were expecting this to go anyway. I don’t know what I was hoping for.”

“But you were hoping for something.” Jumin observed. 

“Fuck!” Seven threw his arms up in frustration, “Yeah, something!”

Seven stared Jumin down, that conflicted expression back that made him look constipated. Seven wanted to laugh. “Do you like me, Luciel?” 

What the fuck. “I’m obligated to like you. You’re pretentious and arrogant and cold and you make everyone around you feel inferior. But you’re a member just like I am and I care about all the members. They’re my only family.” _The only family I have left_. He added to himself. 

“There is more to me than that.” Jumin didn’t seem offended, but Seven could tell he was at least wounded. 

“I know.” Seven agreed. Jumin was complex and complicated. He hid himself away just like Seven did. “You know there’s more to me than this,” Seven gestured to himself, “you know this isn’t me. We’re hardly scratching the surface of each other, which I think we both know.”

Jumin stood to step closer to Seven, reaching for him, but Seven stepped back, “Then allow me to know you. At least one person on this earth should know who you truly are, Luciel.”

“There already is someone who knows me, but I’m not that person anymore. I can’t be. I don’t need to be picked apart and analyzed. You wouldn’t like what you found and I’m not “fixable” or whatever. Don’t try to get close to me, Jumin. It can only end in so many ways and I _can’t_ lose anyone else.” Seven’s voice cracked, but he ignored it. He needed to put this distance between them now.

“I can help you if you let me. There is obviously too much that I do not know, but I have the means to aid you.” Jumin stopped talking when Seven began shaking his head. He couldn’t help. Seven couldn’t even begin to explain without some kind of risk. “Luciel, I want to help you and I feel like you could help me as well.”

Seven ached. The offer was tempting, but everything inside of him was telling him to run because that’s what he did best. So he hooked a finger in the collar of Jumin’s shirt and yanked him down eyelevel with him, “Forget this ever happened. I’m not interested.” He said coolly then pressed a searing kiss to Jumin’s lips, going against what he just said about not being interested, but they both knew it was a lie anyway. 

He left Jumin standing there dumbstruck and hurried to find his glasses and keys before he was out the door. He half expected Jumin to come after him, but Trust Fund Kids didn’t have to chase after what they wanted, it was handed to them. 

Jumin immediately fetched the bottle of wine he’d not finished from his living room, drinking straight from the bottle rather than bothering with a glass. The whirlwind of emotions churning uncomfortably in his chest and gut were unwelcome as they always were, but it was too much to simply will away. Somewhere along the line he’d miscalculated, made a mistake. Obviously, saying V’s name was a mistake, but there was more to the entire situation that just that. 

He hadn’t gotten a chance to fully explain himself, which bothered him. It wasn’t an excuse, but Jumin figured Luciel would see it that way anyway. 

There was someone important to Luciel, who he couldn’t talk about, but he seemed to miss dearly. Jumin’s first instinct was family, but he was aware someone in Luciel’s line of work did not have family. Still, that didn’t deter him. If anything, he only wanted to push further. He didn’t make it a habit to stick his nose where it didn’t belong, but Luciel was a special case. Jumin knew there was more to the hacker than he let on and was determined to chip away the masks he wore in order to know him. 

Oh, it was like Jihyun all over again, wasn’t it? This was how it started. It seemed simple, innocent enough, but Jumin had no doubt it would snowball into something neither of them were equipped, nor ready to handle. That didn’t mean he didn’t want to try, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is only getting worse, wtf


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> welp. lets hope I can keep this ball rolling

Jumin’s phone rang shrilly from where he’d left it on his nightstand. The sound was harsh enough that he could not just ignore it, so he reached blindly and accepted the call before putting it to his ear, “Hello?” His voice was still thick with sleep so he cleared his throat as he sat up tiredly. Elizabeth was forced to move from where she’d been curled up beside her owner, settling for kneading the blanket over Jumin’s legs until he pet her. 

“Jumin, good morning!” Her chipper voice was usually a welcomed thing, but Jumin cringed. It was too early. “I’m sure you remember, but Jaehee and I wanted to confirm that you were planning on joining us this evening after we close. I’ve already talked with Yoosung and Zen. You are coming, right? Do you know if Seven was still going to try to make it?” 

Jumin didn’t know. He hadn’t spoken with Luciel in over a week. The hacker was actively avoiding him and refusing to pick up his calls or answer his texts. It was unlike Jumin to worry to this extent, but he found being ignored was not something he handled well. “I’m unsure.” He said while stroking Elizabeth’s head, “Unsure about Luciel, I mean. I did intend to join you. Assistant Kang reminded me just a day or two ago when I last spoke with her.” 

“It’s _Jaehee_ now, Jumin.” She corrected him. Yes, _Jaehee_. That was still odd and would take some getting used to. “Seven has been wrapped up in work apparently because he won’t answer my calls. Yoosung said he got ahold of him yesterday, but he didn’t say whether or not he’d come.”

“Yoosung will have the easiest time convincing him to attend. I would contact him again if I were you. I must prepare for work now, if you’ll excuse me.” Jumin hung up rather abruptly. Talking about Luciel only frustrated him further. He disliked feeling so unorganized. He found it difficult to concentrate on work, meaning he only accumulated more and now that he was short an assistant, there was an overabundance of projects, documents, and an array of other things that required his attention. Still, he couldn’t force himself to even begin to try and touch the growing pile of papers on his desk. 

Jumin readied for work mechanically, relying on routine to keep him on track while his mind was elsewhere. If Luciel showed up tonight, he’d find a moment to take him aside and demand he hear him out at the very least. The guilt was eating him alive and he knew Luciel had been hurt even if he’d brushed it off and said otherwise. Jumin _wanted_ to talk to him about Jihyun. He _wanted_ to listen to Luciel talk about his feelings for _her_. He wanted that easy honesty between them again because it’d been _so long_ since he’d last been able to address the bottled up emotions inside of him. 

It was easy to pretend they didn’t exist, but less so when Luciel looked at him as though he knew exactly what he was hiding. Jumin supposed it wouldn’t particularly surprise him if that were the case. Luciel was something of a genius after all.

This gathering at the café had been _her_ idea. She disliked how long the members went without seeing each other between parties and insisted it’d be beneficial for them to get together at least once a week to catch up for a few minutes. Assista- _Jaehee_ had agreed. Of course, Zen had complained about times interfering with his rehearsals, but ultimately thought it to be a good idea. Yoosung had seemed excited about it as well. The only one who’d deemed it unimportant besides Jumin was Luciel. He claimed work wouldn’t allow for casual visitations, but Jumin doubted that was the issue. He couldn’t help wondering if things had stayed platonic between them if he’d still feel the same way. He felt at fault somehow, which meant he needed to correct the problem immediately. 

Once again, Jumin found he could not properly concentrate on the work in front of him. He had a meeting to attend in less than an hour and little to no knowledge about what it was even for. He knew better than to let these types of personal issues interfere with work, but he couldn’t help it. No one had made him feel quite this intensely since Jihyun. 

-

“Seven you _have_ to come. If you don’t I’ll be stuck between Jumin and Zen! Plus it’s not the same without you.” Yoosung whined in Seven’s ear. 

“Yoosung, I told you. I have work to finish.” A lie. He had nothing to do. Vanderwood wouldn’t be returning with a new assignment for another four days, but he needed an excuse. He didn’t want to see Jumin. Didn’t want to see _her_. 

“Finish it later! You’ll only have to be here for like a half hour. I’m not staying long either because I promised my guild members I’d be online by eleven. AND you said before that you’d come! So you basically already promised.” Yoosung was making no sense, but Seven found his desperation cute. It wouldn’t kill him to go for a half hour. Surely, she’d be too preoccupied with Jaehee and Jumin would undoubtedly be bickering with Zen. It’d be fine. 

Seven let out an exaggerated sigh signaling his defeat, “Alright, alright. I’ll pick you up at nine then. You’re lucky you’re so cute, Yoosung, or else I would never have ditched my work for you~” 

“Shut up. I’ll see you at nine.” Yoosung grumbled before he hung up. 

Seven had been avoiding any sort of confrontation with Jumin. He had gone through seemingly a million different scenarios for how he’d shut him down if he approached him, but all that was easier done in his mind than it was when the Trust Fund Kid was right in front of him. Jumin had a bad habit of flustering Seven without even meaning to. He lost his cool, which wasn’t cool.

The hours seemed to drag as slowly as possible, giving Seven all the time in the world to work himself up. He spent a lot of time pacing and a lot of time talking to himself as he considered what, if anything, to say to Jumin. He was aware that Jumin was the stubborn type. If he somehow got stuck alone with him for any length of time, he feared the man would want to talk and Seven did not want to talk. About anything. He’d made himself clear before he left that night. It’d been a mistake, something they could move past and forget about, but… Seven kept dreaming about it. He dreamt about Jumin’s irritatingly beautiful smile, his gentle fingers, his low voice right in his ear. Inevitably, he’d hear him say V’s name and he’d startle awake somewhere between angry and sad. Smad. 

Seven’s phone vibrated in his pocket and before he could really think, he answered it and pinned it between his shoulder and ear, “Yellow?”

“As in the color?” Jumin’s voice made him freeze in his tracks. Shit. “I’m glad to have finally reached you, Luciel. I was asked to find out whether or not you’d be joining us tonight.”

“I-I already talked to Yoosung.” Seven’s mouth felt too dry and swallowing didn’t help. He should hang up. Right now. Before Jumin said anything else. 

“Very well. I’m assuming you will be there then. I look forward to seeing you.” Seven shuddered then Jumin hung up without another word. 

Seven fell dramatically into his bed, face smooshed into his pillows and arm bent oddly beneath him, but he couldn’t be bothered to care. 

_Jumin was looking forward to seeing him._

Seven parked in front of Yoosung’s apartment at promptly nine pm. It took several texts and a long drawn out press of the horn, but finally Yoosung came running down the stairs with his gaming headphones still around his neck. “Some people are sleeping you know!” He said as he climbed in the passenger side. 

“I’m sure it’s no different than listening to you rage at your game all night, right, right??” Seven wiggled his eyebrows as he hooked a finger around Yoosung’s headphones. “These are nice. New?”

Yoosung batted his hand away, “I didn’t mean to bring them. You were rushing me.”

The two bickered playfully the rest of the short drive to the café. Yoosung bugged to know where the hell Seven had been, but he brushed it off with work as an excuse. It was plausible and seemed to be good enough for Yoosung. 

“You know they picked a really nice spot for this.” Yoosung admired the quaint building sat nestled between a secondhand bookstore and a candle shop. 

“Jumin helped pick the building out.” Seven recalled. Why his brain decided to store that information, he didn’t know. 

“Oh! There’s Zen, let’s go in!” Yoosung hopped from the car to catch up with Zen as the actor disappeared inside. Seven sat for another moment, collecting himself before he pulled his key from the ignition and stepped out. As he locked his car, a sleek black van pulled up beside the curb and parked for a moment. Jumin stepped out, looking less uptight than usual in casual clothes. Well, casual for Mr. Director. He still wore perfectly tailored black slacks, but his suit jacket was missing and his tie was loose around his neck as if he’d been fiddling with it beforehand. His light grey button up fit him snugly, but was coming untucked from his pants in a few places. Seven could only stare dumbly as Jumin ran a hand down his stomach to smooth his shirt. 

Jumin’s eyes flickered up to meet Seven’s. A hint of a smile played at the corner of his lips, but he schooled his features quickly before nodding in acknowledgment and turning to head inside. Perhaps Seven was wrong. Maybe everything would be fine after all. 

“Jumin! Seven, too!” She exclaimed once Seven stepped inside after Jumin. She hugged Jumin briefly then she threw her arms around Seven’s shoulders and yanked him close to her. He could smell the flowery scent of her hair, feel her warmth seeping into his skin through his hoodie. He ached. Jumin cleared his throat, effectively snatching her attention away from Seven. Had he done that on purpose? Seven eyed him, but Jumin didn’t meet his gaze. 

“Seven!” Yoosung called for him from the counter where Jaehee stood smiling pleasantly. She looked much happier here than Seven could ever remember her looking. It was a good look on her, he thought. He joined the two while shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. 

“Can I get you anything, Luciel?” Jaehee offered as she worked on making Yoosung’s latte. 

Seven shook his head, “Unless you have some PhD Pepper lying around?” He grinned when she sighed exasperatedly. Yoosung thanked Jaehee for the coffee then nodded for Seven to follow him toward the table Zen was already sat at typing away on his phone. The actor glanced up briefly at the two before nodding then his attention was back on his phone. 

“He’s arguing with his director about his role again.” Yoosung informed Seven. 

“I’m so glad you could all come.” She gushed when she joined them. She hovered beside Seven with her hands clasped together and that too-sweet smile she always wore. Jumin joined them with Jaehee close behind then they were all seated comfortably around a table barely large enough to fit them. Seven tuned out the conversation rather quickly. He found himself memorizing the patterns on the wall and wondering how soon he could leave without it being too soon.

Seven could feel Jumin’s eyes on him every now and again, but managed to keep his own gaze anywhere else. He didn’t want to give him an opening to strike up conversation. Not that he really thought Jumin would say much in front of the rest of the RFA members, but he’d rather be safe than sorry. He flinched when someone’s fingers brushed against his hair. “You okay, Seven?” She asked as she leaned closer to him. She wore a concerned expression and her delicate fingers carded gently through his hair. It was something she seemed to enjoy doing to them all, not just him, but it still felt too intimate. He nodded quickly then stood and yanked his phone from his pocket. 

“I just remembered something!” He punched a few random buttons on his phone as he sidestepped toward the door, “I’ll be, uh, just a minute!” 

The fresh air outside was a welcome relief. When had his anxiety skyrocketed like this? He usually managed to keep such a good hold on himself, but between her and Jumin, he felt like he was walking a tightrope. The door jingled behind him, but Seven figured he already knew who’d be coming after him.

“You’re very wound up this evening.” Jumin observed as he stopped to stand beside Seven. “Would I be wrong to assume it is not just because of her?”

“I told you to forget about it.” Seven tapped his foot impatiently while he still fumbled with his phone in an attempt to keep his eyes off Jumin. 

Jumin grabbed his phone from his hand, forcing Seven to look at him. “I do not want to forget about it, Luciel. 

“Well _I_ do.” Seven reached for his phone, but Jumin stepped backward.

“If I have to force you to talk to me, so be it. I do not plan to give up so easily. Do you remember what I said before about running away? Go as far as you’d like for as long as you’d like, but that will not change what happened between us, nor will it make me forget. I at least want you to hear me out before you make any further decisions.” Jumin’s gaze never wavered. Those grey eyes held a storm once again. 

Seven groaned, “I can’t do this, Jumin. I don’t _want_ to do this.”

“That is not how it seemed before. Luciel, I am aware we are playing with fire. I can see the way you look at her. You think me unfeeling, but I looked at Jihyun the same way.” Jumin spoke lowly, as if he was afraid someone else might hear, but there was no one around. His usual stoic expression was cracking, leaving something like desperation behind. 

“I don’t want to hear about V! I don’t care.” Seven’s fingers fisted in his hoodie. He _did_ want to know, though. He wanted to listen to Jumin talk for hours about anything and everything. He wanted to know him more than anything.

Jumin shoved Seven’s phone back at him then stepped too close. His hands came up to hold Seven’s face, fingers cold against his cheeks. “I want you to understand. You of all people will understand and I want that desperately. I need it.” 

Seven froze when Jumin kissed him. All his frantic thoughts vanished the moment their lips touched and everything else fell away. It didn’t matter that they were stood on the sidewalk in plain view of anyone and everyone. It didn’t matter that all it would take to be found out was one of the RFA members turning around. It didn’t matter that this could never work even if they wanted it to because all Seven could feel was Jumin. All he could smell was his cologne and all he could taste was the bitterness of coffee on his tongue. 

And for a moment, that was enough.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pretty dialogue heavy;;

Seven jerked back when his thoughts caught up with him, “What the _hell_?” Anyone could have seen them just now and boy wouldn’t that be a story for the papers?!

Jumin seemed to realize his mistake and quickly released his hold on Seven before stepping away, “I apologize. You make it difficult to control these impulses.” 

What an excuse. 

“Come home with me.” Jumin suggested. 

Seven nearly choked on the laugh that erupted from his chest, “Getting ahead of yourself there, Mr. Han.” 

“I have no ill intentions, I assure you. I only wish to speak with you in private.” Jumin crossed his arms over his chest, an action that usually made him look threatening, but now it just made him seem nervous and self-conscious. 

Seven’s immediate instinct was to decline. Not only did he want to avoid being anywhere secluded and alone with Jumin, but he drove Yoosung here. He couldn’t just bail on him and he wasn’t about to let Yoosung drive his precious baby. “I’ll have to pass on the offer. My boy Yoosung needs a ride home and I drove my babe all the way out here, soooo” Seven held his hands up and shrugged, “no can do, Mr. Director, Sir.”

“Why do you revert back to this odd humor when you are uncomfortable or nervous? Is it a way to manage what it is you’re feeling?” Jumin wondered. He hated when Luciel became sarcastic and took nothing seriously. There was a time and place to joke around, now was not it. “I only wish to settle things between us, Luciel.”

“So just leave it alone!” Seven exclaimed, “I told you to forget about it and we can pretend nothing ever happened, move right along with our lives.”

Jumin squinted at him, “Can you really do that so easily? Do you not think about it at all? None of it mattered is what you are saying, correct? So I should no longer feel bad about using you in place of Jihyun.” A low blow, but he got the reaction he wanted. Seven’s face fell then pinched up into a pained expression as his eyes darted away.

“That’s why you’re doing this then, huh? Because you feel guilty for talking me into bed with you. Don’t get it twisted, Jumin. I wanted to fuck you.” Jumin looked a bit taken aback by Seven’s bluntness, but the shock vanished quickly, “Even if I’d known from the get-go you were only using me as some sort of replacement, I still probably would have went along with it.” Yikes. Too honest again. 

“Why would you do that?” 

“Because it felt good to be wanted. I can’t have what I want without putting someone at risk, so you felt like a kind of freebie. The way you looked at me and touched me… I felt _good_. I haven’t felt like that in a long time. So, of course I think about it. Shit, I dream about it constantly, but that doesn’t _mean_ anything.” 

Jumin’s one arm dropped to his side while the other hand ran through his hair in frustration, “How can you say that? Of course it means something. You _were not_ a replacement.”

Seven opened his mouth to argue, but the bell on the door behind them chimed. They both immediately shut up as Yoosung stepped outside. “Seven? Is everything okay? I’m ready to leave now if you are. I have to get back home soon.”

“Yup! Don’t worry your pretty little head, Yoosung~” Seven felt sick. Jumin’s eyes were practically picking him apart as he watched him paint on a new mask. “Did you say goodbye to everyone?”

“Not yet, I came to see if you were okay with leaving. Were you two fighting… or something?” Yoosung glanced nervously between them. The tension was indeed thick, but it was pointless to bring up. Seven was done talking about it.

“Nope~ everything is swell. Let’s go say bye-bye and get going!” Seven ushered Yoosung back inside then hurried to say his goodbyes. Jumin was still standing outside when they returned to the car. 

“Luciel,” Jumin caught Seven after Yoosung slipped into the passenger seat, “I would like for you to visit me after dropping Yoosung off. _Please_. I do not want our relationship to suffer because of this. Allow me to salvage what we have left.” 

If Seven didn’t agree, he figured Jumin would be breathing down his neck until he did, so he cracked. “Fine.” He snapped then got in his car. 

“Seven, what’s going on between you two?” Yoosung asked wearily. His violet eyes were wide with worry, but Seven couldn’t explain even if he tried. 

He settled for, “It’s complicated.”

Yoosung let the subject drop and instead prattled on about LOLOL, which Seven didn’t mind. It was fun to tease Yoosung, but every now and then he liked just listening to him talk. He was bubbly and always animated. It was like a breath of fresh air. 

Too soon, they reached Yoosung’s apartment. Yoosung thanked him as he climbed out and made Seven promise that they’d hang out and game soon. Seven was then left alone with his thoughts and the knowledge that Jumin was expecting him. He debated on going home first to change, or even to collect himself, but figured if he went home chances of him actually leaving again were slim. 

There was no reason for him to stay long, so he’d just go, listen to whatever Jumin had to say, then leave. Easy, right? They could talk in private where no one else could eavesdrop and sort things out, or Seven would pretend for the sake of settling things. He didn’t want to fight with Jumin, but there was no way to make him understand. They couldn’t _be_ anything even if they wanted. Neither of them were suited for any type of relationship other than whatever it was they had now. 

It was unhealthy. Anything with Jumin, or anyone else for that matter would be unhealthy. Seven couldn’t give enough of himself to make anything other than a physical relationship work and even that was pushing it. If something went wrong with the agency, those he was close to would be targeted first. One by one, he’d lose the people he loved. If he was being honest, his involvement with the RFA was dangerous enough. If something ever happened to any of them because of him… well he wouldn’t know how to live with himself. Now he just needed to make Jumin understand that. 

Seven parked in front of Jumin’s penthouse and wondered if this was really the best decision. But he was already here, it’d be pointless to turn around and leave. But if he left he wouldn’t have to face Jumin. But then Jumin wouldn’t leave him alone until they did find time to talk. Shit, it was just too complicated. He needed to stop thinking. He yanked the key from the ignition and grabbed his phone before climbing out of the car. He crossed his fingers this would go smoothly and quickly, but this was Jumin so who really knew.

“Luciel,” Jumin greeted when his security guard allowed him in, “I’m glad you came.” Seven watched him fiddle with his tie. Was he nervous?

“If I wouldn’t have you’d probably do something crazy like show up at my house.” Seven pointed out, “So talk. I don’t want to be here long. I have work to do.” He didn’t, but it was always a convenient excuse. 

Jumin cleared his throat and dismissed his security guard, leaving them alone. “Please sit. Can I get you anything to drink?”

“No. Just spit it out, Mr. Director.” Seven plopped down on the same couch he sat on last time and attempted to block out the memories that wanted to surface. None of that mattered now. Jumin sat beside him, leaving a bit of space between them, but not enough because Seven was hyperaware of him. 

“Very well.” Jumin sighed as he sat back, “Perhaps you would rather not hear this, but it is the only explanation I have for my behavior before.” 

“Before as in when you said V’s name while fucking me.” Seven deadpanned. 

Jumin cringed, “Yes. Maybe this will sound like an excuse and I suppose in a way it is, but it is also something I would like you to know.” 

Seven didn’t want to know. Whatever went on between Jumin and V was their business, not his. Whether Jumin was still hung up on V, or even still fucking him, Seven didn’t care. Or, that’s what he told himself anyway.

“Jihyun is special to me.” Jumin began. Seven only barely resisted the urge to roll his eyes. “Growing up he was always someone who understood me when very few people could. I suppose I have always been this way, but Jihyun has always been able to see through the façade I uphold, which may be the reason I fell for him to begin with. I do not put much stock into flimsy things like love, but to call what I feel for him anything else would be a lie. Our relationship was explorative for the both of us, I think, though I knew he would never return my feelings. I still valued what we did have for the time being. It only lasted a few years during our adolescence then he met Rika. I never pursued anything further after he ended our physical relationship. He’d fallen in love with someone who was not me and there was nothing I could do about that, so I buried my feelings even deeper in hopes to move on.”

“How’d that work out for you?” Seven asked as he shoved his hands into his sweatshirt pockets.

“As well as one would expect. As you have seen. So, I apologize. I do not expect forgiveness, but I did want you to know. I also think you should know that rather than Jihyun, it has been you on my mind this past week. I do not know what to make of these thoughts and feelings that you evoke in me. It is rather confusing and the fact that you continue to hold me at arm’s length is displeasing.” Jumin said. 

Seven didn’t like where this was going. “What do you want from me, Jumin?” He asked hesitantly. 

“I wish to know you, Luciel. I want to be someone you can trust. I want you to allow me to help you. There is someone important to you that you wish to see, no?” 

“Don’t talk like you know everything.” Seven snapped. “That’s none of your business and it’d be wise for you to stay out of my life altogether. _You can’t help me_.” Was that true, though? Jumin was very capable and held expendable amounts of money and resources. Was he really so powerless? 

Jumin frowned, “You have not even let me try. I am not ignorant, Luciel. I am well aware the work you do is dirty and dangerous. I know that having personal relationships is a luxury you cannot afford to have, but you need to understand that I am not incapable. I have the means to protect myself and what I choose to do is my business. If that includes you, so be it.”

“Why are you doing this? You don’t even know what you’re saying!” Seven said as he dragged trembling fingers through his hair. “You don’t know the kind of trouble you could get into if something went wrong.”

“I think I have a decent idea, but even so it will not change my mind.” Jumin shifted closer to Seven until their thighs were pressed together and he could smell his aftershave, “I have already let something I want slip through my fingers once before. I will not allow that to happen again.”

Seven’s gaze flickered between Jumin’s eyes and lips. What he wanted? What did that mean? Definitely not what it sounded like, right? “I can’t do this.” He murmured, his voice coming out in a whisper.

“You _can’t_ , or you don’t _want_ to? Tell me you don’t want to and I’ll be satisfied, but otherwise.” Jumin grabbed Seven’s face, fingers squishing his cheeks until they almost hurt, “I will not watch you run away from this if I know there is a part of you that wants it. So tell me.” 

Jumin’s fingers relaxed, but only slightly. He still held Seven’s face as he waited for a response. Seven swallowed and tried to look anywhere else but at Jumin. “Luciel. I need an answer before I do something we will both regret.”

“I-I,” Seven shook his head slightly, as much as he could while Jumin had a hold on him, “I can’t have what I want.”

“I will give you anything.” Jumin promised before he fit his mouth against Seven’s. 

_Anything?_


	6. Chapter 6

The weight of Jumin’s arm against his side was probably the only thing keeping Seven grounded. 

This, this _thing_ , whatever they were doing, was only getting more complicated. He hadn’t really meant to give in so easily, but Jumin made him feel so much of everything he never allowed himself to feel. It was overwhelming. He figured the worst part was that he couldn’t bring himself to regret it. 

Jumin had said his name, _Luciel_ , over and over again like a gentle mantra as he worshipped his body with deft fingers and wet lips. It’d been so different than the first time. It wasn’t rushed as it had been, rather Jumin took his time and dragged everything out for as long as possible until Seven was begging. It wasn’t just sex. Jumin had made love to him. 

The thought alone made Seven cringe, but he had no doubt that’s what it’d been. How had he managed to get himself into this mess anyway? 

Seven watched Jumin’s eyes flutter beneath their lids. His face was soft as he slept, the usual hard lines and coldness wiped cleanly away. He’d promised Seven anything. Anything could be a lot of things, but there was only one thing he wanted. 

Jumin’s arm tightened around Seven for a moment as he began to wake up. His hand slid up Seven’s back to press him closer to his chest then his face was buried in Seven’s hair. “You don’t smell like him.” Jumin murmured. Seven didn’t have to ask who he meant. 

“You don’t smell like her.” He said, words muffled against Jumin’s neck. It was… nice to wake up beside someone as warm as Jumin. Seven was so used to sleeping alone. 

“Did you sleep well?” Jumin’s voice was still thick with sleep, which Seven found attractive. He hummed his answer rather than trying to speak. He wanted to hold onto this moment for as long as he was allowed to. While his head was quiet for a moment and he wasn’t worried about what kind of danger would inevitably arise, he wanted to just enjoy Jumin. 

Seven had never thought to apply the word “gentle” to Jumin because the man was typically stone cold, but the fingers that slid down his spine then up along his side were feather-light and soft. Jumin smelled faintly of cologne or aftershave and something uniquely _him_. His heart was beating slowly and steadily under Seven’s fingers where he rested his hands against his chest. His breath was even, relaxed. 

He wanted this. 

The realization hit Seven hard. 

He wanted to wake up wrapped in someone’s arms every morning. He wanted to feel bare skin against his own. He wanted to know he was wanted. He didn’t know if Jumin could be that person for him, but in this moment he was. 

_I can’t have what I want._

His previous words looped in his head, but he wondered if that were really true. While dangerous, it wasn’t impossible. If, if he somehow managed to get away from the agency without killing himself, he could have everything. Someone to hold him like this through the night, a family… his brother. Could Jumin do something like that for him?

“I am afraid I will need to prepare for work soon.” Jumin said, breaking Seven from his thoughts. Seven cleared his throat and gently freed himself from Jumin’s embrace. Right. Work. “You look unwell, Luciel. Are you in pain?”

Seven felt himself flush, but shook his head. “No. I was just thinking about what you said.”

“Which part?” Jumin propped himself up on his elbow when Seven sat up. 

“All of it I guess. Mostly when you said you’d give me anything.” Seven wrung his fingers together nervously. Was he really about to be so honest with Jumin? Could he trust him with this sort of thing? Would it even make a difference in the end? 

Jumin sat upright, dragging his blankets to cover more of both of them as he maneuvered to face Seven, “Luciel,” he spoke softly, making Seven look up at him, “I told you before that I am willing to be anything you need. I am willing to do anything I can for you. Anything that I can give you, I will.”

“Why?” Seven’s voice was thick with emotion, though he couldn’t particularly place which one. He was feeling too many things, fear and hope being prominent. Jumin seemed to consider the question before taking Seven’s hand and sighing. 

“It is too soon to name these feelings I have for you, some of them anyway. I fear for you since I know the work you do is the furthest thing from safe. I hurt for you because though you wear a smile, you are aching underneath. I care for you because you have been beside us for years without wavering, you’re loyal and very important to not only me, but all of us.” Jumin rubbed his thumb in comforting circles against Seven’s knuckles as he spoke. “I have not let myself feel these things since Jihyun, but with you it is not a matter of whether or not I allow myself to feel. I just do.”

“We’re from different worlds, Jumin. I’m comparable to dirt. In my line of work, people are expendable. If Vanderwood every got a bug up his ass and told the agency about the RFA, I’m not even sure what would happen.” Seven shook his head as he scrubbed his free hand over his face. “People like me don’t belong beside people like you.”

Jumin was frowning when Seven met his eyes again, “I would like to prove you wrong.”

“How do you plan to do that?” Seven asked with a humorless laugh.

“By any means necessary. I’d like to begin by extracting you from the agency you work for and continue from there. You are not dirt, or anything of the sort. You are talented and intelligent, which you know. You are capable of so many things.” Jumin released his hold on Seven’s hand only to grab his arm and drag him forward into his lap. “Who is it that you miss so dearly. Tell me so that I can bring them back to you.” 

Seven practically sobbed as he buried his face in Jumin’s chest. Was this possible? Could he be happy again? 

“Luciel,” Seven felt Jumin’s lips against the top of his head and Jumin’s arms wrapped around him tightly, holding him close. 

“My brother,” Seven mumbled, “all I want is my brother.” If Jumin was surprised, it didn’t show. He simply held Seven while he cried for the first time in probably years. The tears continued to flow even though he willed them to stop. “I need to know he’s okay, I want to hold him again. I-I only left him behind because V said it was what I could do to protect him and I _needed_ to protect him.”

“Jihyun?” Jumin questioned more so to himself than Seven. Jihyun had never spoken about any of this. 

“It’s complicated.” Seven said while trying to collect himself. He wiped away the tears and took a steadying breath before he sat upright and found Jumin watching him worriedly. “You said anything, right?” 

Jumin nodded slowly, “Anything.”

“Bring my brother home then. Bring Saeran back to me. Let me have my family and let me have this, whatever this is.” Seven took Jumin’s face in his hands and pressed their foreheads together, “That’s all I need.”

“Luciel,” Jumin began, but Seven interrupted him.

“Saeyoung.”

Jumin’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “What?”

“My name, it’s Saeyoung.”

“Then Saeyoung,” Jumin held Seven’s gaze, noticed how his golden eyes sparkled with tears still, “I will do everything in my power to help you leave the agency. I will help you find and bring your brother home, and I will stay beside you being whatever it is that you need me to be.”

Seven smiled as he held his hand up between them with his pinky out, “Promise?” Jumin looked between Seven’s hand and face, apparently not understanding. “Pinky promise.” Seven explained as he took Jumin’s hand and fixed it until it resembled his own. He hooked his pinky around Jumin’s, “Now promise me you won’t pick Elly over me, that you’ll let me pet her whenever I want, and that you won’t leave me behind.”

Jumin pursed his lips thoughtfully then squeezed Seven’s pinky in his own, “I promise.” He agreed. He would do just about anything for Luciel, or Saeyoung, and supposed maybe this was love. If it was, then he welcomed it. If he could keep that crooked grin lighting up Saeyoung’s face always, then he would. If Saeyoung wanted him, or needed him in any capacity, he would give any and all of himself because if this was love, he wasn’t going to let it slip through his fingers ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well. I haven't decided if I'm going to continue on from here yet or not since originally it was just a oneshot lolol. It feels pretty final right here, but I know there's more I could do. So I guess lemme know how you feel about it~


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm still unsure where this is going, but it's going   
> updates may be less regular due to the fact that I'm lazy

It was impressive to watch Jumin snap his fingers and almost immediately get what he wanted. The work Seven did for the agency was strictly classified, but Jumin figured surely there were people who’d managed to wiggle their way out before. Seven had said, yeah they vanished into thin air, most likely dead. When you were no longer necessary, you no longer existed. Expendable. Filth. Jumin refused to listen and within the span of just a few hours, had files on several people who more or less fell off the face of the earth, but were still alive. Running from an intelligence agency was a dangerous thing to do, but not quite impossible. 

“We can protect you, Luciel. I’d recommend first taking up your birth name again. It suits you better anyway.” Jumin said so casually that it made Seven blush. 

“Then you’ll have to stop calling me Luciel.” Seven reminded.

Jumin pursed his lips as he drummed his fingers against the papers in front of him, “Of course. Adjustments can be made. I need you to trust me and the rest of the RFA if we are to keep you hidden and safe. I can have a safe house set up that I’ll allow you to make adjustments to, you know better than I how to protect yourself, but for right now you will stay with me. If you are not opposed, that is.” 

“No, that’s fine. It’ll give me time to get a layout of the place you plan to move me, and eventually Saeran, to so that I can decide where to put what. Security is a high priority. It’s unlikely that anyone would ever be able to blast through my firewalls, but it’s been done before.” Seven chewed on his thumbnail nervously as he paced in front of Jumin’s desk. His thoughts were so scattered it was difficult to focus. 

“I’ll provide you with the best security guards I can. I want to have this place ready before we even begin searching for your brother. As for that matter, you mentioned V before. What does he know about your brother?” Why would Jihyun keep something so important to himself? Jumin understood that Saeyoung couldn’t have relations with any family members for safety reasons, but to not even allow updates… as if the boy didn’t even exist. He had too many questions that he knew would be left unanswered if he didn’t force them from Jihyun. Saeyoung still paced, apparently too caught up in his own mind to have heard Jumin, “Saeyoung.” Jumin called softly, effectively grabbing the redhead’s attention. 

“V, yeah. V was the one who rescued us in the first place.” Saeyoung groaned as he dragged a hand through his hair and pulled. He sat down heavily in a plush chair across from Jumin and took a deep breath before continuing, “The whole story is too long and complicated, but I’ll try my best to explain it as briefly and quickly as I can so you understand. My brother and I were unwanted. My father is a well know politician whose career and respectability would be ruined if we were ever found out, so my mother was not kind to us. She kept us secret and made sure we knew we were unwanted. I was the stronger of the two of us, Saeran always got the brunt of her rage, which tore me apart so I vowed to do whatever it took to make him safe.”

Jumin listened intently, slowly growing more furious the more he learned about the hacker’s past. Who would do such a thing? To children, no less. It was despicable, made his stomach churn. “Where does V play into this situation?”

“I attended church when I could, which is where I met V and Rika. V was a godsend and Rika a literal angel. She gave me a book that started my hacking career. They promised to do what they could to help us and they did, but at what cost? I had to leave Saeran behind. V said it was the only way he could be safe. If I could do that, I could protect him by going to school and working my ass off. I joined the agency and never looked back because it was for him. They promised to keep him safe, but V won’t even say his name anymore. I don’t know what to think.” Saeyoung rubbed at his burning eyes in frustration. This could all be solved if V would answer the goddamn phone. 

“We’ll speak with him first then and decide where to go from there.” Jumin decided. If V knew Saeran’s whereabouts then it would be easy so long as he aided them by telling them what he knew. As of late, though, Jihyun had been more secretive than ever. Talking to him was almost always a dead end with an abundance of “I’m sorry’s”. 

Saeyoung eyed Jumin warily, “You’re okay with that?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Jumin scribbled down a list of things he needed to do and people he needed to reach before he met Saeyoung’s gaze. 

“Your past with him isn’t exactly…” Saeyoung shrugged then rubbed the back of his neck. 

Jumin set his pen down and stood to make his way around his desk. He leaned down in front of Saeyoung, a hand on either armrest to keep him from running away. “Jihyun is first and foremost my oldest friend. He was my lover many years ago now and my feelings for him while intense are no longer romantic. Perhaps I long for the closeness I once had with him, and perhaps I miss him dearly only because he is the one person who truly knows me, but _you_ are my priority now. What transpired between Jihyun and I is firmly in the past, as we’ve both moved on and grown since then. There is no room in his heart for me and my own is slowly being filled. What I want from him now are answers that he’s refused to give either of us. I promise you, Saeyoung, we will figure this out.”

Saeyoung felt his worries melt away temporarily with Jumin’s reassurance, “Okay,” he agreed, “we’ll figure it out.” Jumin nodded then brushed tender fingers against Saeyoung’s cheek before he kissed him gently. It was chaste and sealed the promise he’d made. One way or another they would manage. 

-

As soon as Jumin handed Saeyoung the layout of the safe house, he began planning. He would need cameras positioned both outside and inside in places that they could be easily hidden. He needed to design a better security system. Count windows, doors, any possible means of entry that would need to be either guarded with alarms or security personnel. Or both. Both was good, too. He’d need to tinker with the wiring and install his own equipment, which could be done easily enough, but he wanted an idea to go off of before he threw himself into work. He’d need to somehow retrieve his belongings from his house, but no doubt it was being watched since he disappeared without warning. His mind was a mess. 

“If you tell me what it is that you need, I can easily have the right people take care of everything.” Jumin said when he found Saeyoung bent over his notes.

“I don’t trust anyone else to do it right. At least if I set up the cameras and the systems I’ll know they’re practically foolproof. No one else uses the same types of algorithms, so it’d be unlikely someone could alter them without my knowledge if they somehow found the place.” Saeyoung removed his glasses to rub at his tired eyes. Jumin had been on the phone on and off all day. The man had set aside his work to focus on Saeyoung, which spoke volumes for a workaholic like Jumin. 

Jumin dropped a comforting hand to Saeyoung’s shoulder and squeezed, “Whatever you need.” He assured. “I haven’t been able to reach V, but I am still trying. The preparations are going well on the safe house. You will be able to do what you like in a matter of three or four days.”

“I need to get my stuff from my house somehow.” Saeyoung said, “Everything I need is there.”

“Forget about it. I’m not letting you risk getting caught. Your maid knows where you live, Vanderwood? They’re not just your maid, are they?” Jumin crossed his arms over his chest as he leaned against the desk where Saeyoung had been drawing up plans.

“You catch on quick, Mr. Director. No, Vanderwood isn’t my maid per se, but he does a hell of a job cleaning my disaster of a house. I’d say OCD. He’s essentially my babysitter. He’s the one who makes sure my work gets done on time. We’re partners for all intents and purposes, but I doubt he’d allow me to leave so easily unless I did something for him. Which, I may just be able to do. That’d leave one less person to worry about. I do need my equipment, though. That’s not debatable. I’m going back.” Saeyoung collected his notes and stuffed them into a file before shoving it into a bag with what little belongings he did have here with him. 

Jumin grabbed the bag from him, “I told you that is not going to happen. I won’t allow you out of my sight until I know you are safe. What you need I can get you. Make a list.” 

“Jumin, these things aren’t cheap. I’m talking laptops, computers, not to mention necessary files saved on hard drives and flash drives that I’ll need.” Saeyoung argued.

“We’ll retrieve the important things at a later time. What you need to secure yourself now, however, I will obtain for you. One mistake could cost you your life, Saeyoung. I’m not willing to allow you to take that risk.” Jumin’s tone held no room for further argument so Saeyoung dropped it and began a list of necessary equipment he’d need to set up his security systems. Jumin returned to making phone calls, no doubt trying to hunt down V. 

Saeyoung could hardly believe any of this was really happening. Every time he laid down to sleep, he worried he’d wake up in the same shithole at a dead end with no hope of ever seeing Saeran again. Jumin was proving to be much more capable than Saeyoung had ever given him credit for. The man held both power and money that could get him almost anything he wanted or needed. His name alone had him connected with the people he needed to speak with within minutes. 

The deafening silence of the penthouse was wearing on Saeyoung’s nerves by the time Jumin’s voice could no longer be heard from the other room. He was left alone with his thoughts, which were running a mile a minute, so he stepped outside onto the balcony in hopes to clear his head. Jumin had quite the view and while it was a bit chilly, it was a welcome change of atmosphere. 

To think what he wanted for so long was finally somewhat obtainable. Hope was such a fragile thing, though. How much could he really hope for without hurting himself in the end? What if his brother was hurt? What if V didn’t even know where he was? What if they were unable to find him, or if they did find him, what if they were unable to bring him home? What if the agency caught up with him? What if they took Saeran? What if Jumin decided he no longer wanted Saeyoung? What if, what if, what if… 

“Here you are.” Jumin’s voice silenced the frantic thoughts racing around Saeyoung’s head. “I wondered where you disappeared to.” 

“I needed some air.” Saeyoung mumbled without turning around. He could feel the tears on his cheeks. He didn’t want Jumin to see him like this. 

Jumin wrapped his arms around Saeyoung from behind then held him tightly, “I spoke with V.” He said softly against Saeyoung’s ear. 

“You did?” There was that hope again. If he wasn’t careful, he’d inevitably fuck up. 

“He will be returning home in two days. I asked him to come as soon as possible without being too specific in my request. I feared he’d refuse me if he knew what it was I wanted. For now, we will have to wait. I’m afraid this is the worst part, but I hope you do not overthink too much.” Jumin rested his forehead against Saeyoung’s shoulder. 

The comfortable silence that enveloped them made Saeyoung feel safe. If he had Jumin beside him, surely everything would be okay, right? 

V would return and they’d get the answers they needed. Surely, Saeran was okay. He had to be. He was alive at the very least, Saeyoung could feel that much. Would it hurt Jumin to see V again? He’d said they fought before, but about what? Was it because V refused to talk to them before the party? Since Rika’s death he’s only been drifting further and further away from all of them. He once felt like a father figure to Saeyoung, but now he was just a ghost with too many secrets. 

Saeyoung’s stomach grumbled loudly, making Jumin chuckle. “Come, we’ll have dinner.” Jumin squeezed Saeyoung one last time before releasing him and disappearing back inside. Saeyoung looked up at the sky that was now fading from blue to pink as the sun set. The clouds were hanging low and reminded him of the days he and Saeran managed to escape their prison of a house for a few hours. 

“I’m coming,” Saeyoung whispered, “I’m going to bring you home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> drama, drama, drama. I'm not very good at writing drama. bear with me <3


	8. Chapter 8

V was late.

Saeyoung was becoming antsy the longer they had to wait, but Jumin continued to coax him back down when he got too worked up. Jumin seemed relaxed, but Saeyoung knew it was probably a front. Both their emotions were running high with the impending possibility of answering all the unknowns. Saeyoung continued to pace since he needed to do _something_ to occupy himself until Jumin apparently got fed up with him and backed him up against the counter in the kitchen. He set his wine down behind Saeyoung and took the hacker’s face in his hands. 

“You need to focus. You’re getting too worked up, which is helping no one. Jihyun will get here when he gets here.” Jumin’s eyes gave away his worries that he was hiding so well behind a cool façade. 

“I can’t.” Saeyoung laughed deliriously, “I feel like I’m going crazy. I just keep thinking about the worst things possible. I can’t focus and I have no numbers to work with, just endless worries and hope fueled motivation.” 

Jumin sighed then brushed his thumbs over Saeyoung’s cheeks before leaning in and kissing him softly. Words were of no help in this moment. Saeyoung needed to feel grounded, which he so obviously did not. Jumin understood to an extent. He couldn’t know exactly how he was feeling, but he didn’t blame Saeyoung for being so scatterbrained. A lot was going on and too much was up in the air. There were no definites aside from what Jumin promised and he intended to keep those promises. Saeyoung put up little to no fight as Jumin kissed him lazily. They’d been doing this a lot lately- kissing. Neither of them had defined their relationship, which was fine. Labels weren’t important. Emotions ruled their actions more often than not these days. It was new and it was working. That was enough for the both of them. 

Saeyoung melted into Jumin’s touch, arms circling his neck loosely as he deepened their kiss. Jumin tasted like wine again, a flavor that was beginning to grow on Saeyoung. His fingers twisted in the hair at the nape of his neck when Jumin nipped at his bottom lip. 

A loud knock at the door made them spring apart, both breathing heavily from the heated kiss. Jumin recovered first then smoothed his shirt over his stomach before striding to the door. A security guard stood on the opposite side with V behind him. Jumin opened the door wider and nodded to the guard in dismissal. 

“Jumin,” V greeted as he stepped inside. Jumin closed the door behind him then accepted the offered hug. “I’ve missed you.” V murmured against his shoulder. Jumin’s heart ached, but less so now. V wore the same sunglasses as before and still carried a cane, eyesight apparently no better even though Jumin insisted on the surgery. That wasn’t important in this moment.

“V,” Saeyoung hovered anxiously, eyes flickering between the two men. 

“Luciel, I didn’t realize you were here. Is something the matter?” V asked worriedly. 

Saeyoung looked to Jumin for the answer. “We just need some answers, Jihyun.” Jumin addressed V.

“I’m unsure how much help I can be.” V admitted, but Saeyoung didn’t buy it. 

“Any help at all will be beneficial.” Jumin shot Saeyoung a warning glance, “Can I get you anything to drink?” He offered. 

V shook his head, “I’m alright, thank you. Luciel, why are you here?”

“Jihyun, let’s sit before we begin any sort of discussion. There is quite a bit I wish to talk to you about.” V nodded and allowed Jumin to usher them further into the living room where they sat down. Saeyoung didn’t like how natural things felt between them, how easy it was for Jumin to touch V or V to smile at Jumin. It made him feel sick to his stomach. Jealousy, maybe? Annoying.

Saeyoung couldn’t stand the forced small talk. He knew what Jumin was doing, but his patience was nearly nonexistent. “V,” Saeyoung cut Jumin off, “Saeran. I need you to tell me he’s okay.” V looked taken aback, but his stiff posture was tell enough for Saeyoung to assume he must know _something_. 

“That’s…” V trailed off as he ran a hand through his hair, clearly uncomfortable. 

“Saeyoung.” Jumin scolded.

“Saeyoung?” V’s brows furrowed, “Jumin, what’s going on?”

Jumin sighed, “Luciel, Saeyoung, would like to take the necessary steps in order to live a safer, healthier life. One that includes his brother. I’ve assured him I will do everything in my power to make that happen, which is why I need you to tell me where he is.”

V shook his head slightly before looking in Saeyoung’s general direction, “Luciel, this isn’t so simple. Some things aren’t always controllable. There’s... It’s…” V couldn’t seem to find the words. Saeyoung began to pace. 

“He’s alive?” Saeyoung demanded. 

“Of course.” V nodded. 

“Please, Jihyun. Whatever the situation, we can help.” Jumin insisted, but V only frowned. “You have been keeping things from me for a while now, V. The truth suits you much better. You recall our dispute before the party, correct? I will not interfere with the choices you make so long as they do not negatively impact anyone else, but this does. Saeyoung should not be separated from his brother any longer when it is unnecessary.”

What could be so bad that V would refuse Jumin? What was wrong with Saeran? Where was he? What about the promise V had made about keeping him safe? What exactly had he been slaving away the past ten years of his life for if not his brother’s safety? Saeyoung’s anxiety was beginning to get the best of him, but he couldn’t will himself to calm down. 

“There’s too much to explain. I can’t let you go alone… I thought I could handle this, but I was wrong. It’s apparent now that I’ve made a mistake. Luciel, never forgive me for this. Jumin,” V reached blindly for his best friend until Jumin took his hand, “please try to understand, I only thought I was doing what was best for everyone. I wanted nothing more than to keep those I cared about safe. I’ll take you to him.”

The weight that had previously felt like it was crushing Saeyoung’s chest vanished with those few words. He would see his brother again. He would get to hold him in his arms and fill the hole in his heart. “When? When can we go? Sooner would be better than later. Where is he, V?” Saeyoung’s voice shot up a few octaves as he pelted V with questions. His nervousness was tangible and made Jumin worry. 

“Soon, yes… I think it’d be wise for Jumin to bring some security. Luciel, I need you to understand that some things have changed. I tried my best to manage, but I’m clearly not as capable as I wish to be. Please, don’t have any expectations.” V’s voice shook as he spoke, his face twisted into a grimace. There was something he wasn’t saying, but so long as Saeyoung could see Saeran with his own two eyes, he didn’t care. 

Jumin furthered the discussion about when would be the best time to go while Saeyoung’s thoughts raced a mile a minute. He had yet to secure the safe house the way he wanted, but if they weren’t leaving for a few days yet, he would have time. He wanted nothing more than to build a home for the two of them. When he looked up from his lap after a silence fell between the two men, he was met with Jumin’s grey eyes appraising him. Saeyoung owed all this to him, this man who’d wormed his way into his twisted heart. However different they were, they worked. There was no denying that. Jumin offered for V to stay the night given how late it had become, but the man declined politely and left shortly after saying goodbye. 

V seemed defeated, something Saeyoung had never considered him capable of. He’d always been something like a father figure in his life, always a positive force that drove him to do his best for the sake of not only himself, but for others. But this secret rocked the unwavering trust Saeyoung had instilled in V until he wasn’t sure what was believable. At the very least, Saeran was alive and Saeyoung would bring him home, wherever that may be. 

Jumin stood in front of Saeyoung after seeing V out. He stroked a comforting hand through the hacker’s messy hair then sighed tiredly. “I don’t know what he’s been thinking. V has always been this way, as I’m sure you know. If there is a burden, he wishes to carry it himself. I do not expect you to forgive him, but I hope you will understand why I cannot bring myself to be particularly upset with him.”

“What if something happened?” Saeyoung grabbed Jumin’s wrists as he looked up at him, “What if he’s been hurt? What if he doesn’t want to come home with me? I don’t understand what V’s been hiding.”

“We will figure it out. Whatever has happened can be and will be sorted out. I’m certain Saeran misses you as horribly as you miss him. Let’s just wait and prepare for what we can for right now. Let me take care of you.” Jumin’s voice dropped to a whisper as he kneeled in front of the redhead. Saeyoung smiled sadly then leaned forward to kiss Jumin softly. 

“All you’ve been doing is taking care of me.” Saeyoung reminded. He pushed Jumin’s hair back from his face to look at him, “I owe you so much.”

Jumin shook his head, “Recall what I said before, I will be anything you need so long as you do the same for me. You have pulled from me emotions I have not allowed myself to address in years. As I see it, we’re fairly even. I hope your brother is well and that you will be able to live a happy life with him in the future. I also hope that perhaps there will still be room for me in your heart.”

“Mr. Trust Fund Kid is getting soft. Wait till Zen hears about this.” Saeyoung smirked, “I think I can manage to make some room for you.”

“If not, I may be forced to take drastic measures to be sure you won’t leave me.” Jumin mused as he stood and dragged Saeyoung up with him. The redhead leaned into him as Jumin walked them toward his bedroom. 

“Sounds kinky.” Saeyoung giggled. 

“You have no complaints then?” Jumin raised a brow as a faint smirk tugged at the corner of his lips. 

Saeyoung shrugged, “Dunno, guess we’ll have to find out.” He gasped when his back hit the door.

“Very well. I will keep that in mind.” Jumin said then twisted the handle to allow them both to stumble into the room. 

The door clicked shut softly behind them and for a while, nothing else mattered in their world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i love them i love them i love them i love them i love them i


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no excuse for why this took so long to finish, butttt here it is. I have one more chapter that'll probably go up either later today or tomorrow. it's short, just an epilogue. but needs to be edited. if you're still around reading this, thanks a shitton and I'm so sorry it took me forever to complete lolol. you'll see this doesn't completely follow the actual storyline (as if any of it has so far) because I love V and he deserved better

The safe house was very reminiscent of Saeyoung’s bunker except not underground, which was a nice change if he was being completely honest. There was something comforting about the sunlight streaming through the windows, like there wasn’t some impending doom lurking just around the corner. In a way, it wasn’t so much a sense of dread as just an intense fear of the unknown, but Saeyoung had always been afraid of the unknown. He liked being in control and having answers. If not answers, he liked having formulas to work with until he arrived at an answer. Here, he had nothing but his trembling hands as he hooked up cameras and ran wires through the house. 

The windows had been replaced with bulletproof glass and set with alarms as well as the entire rest of the house. If someone were to even think about trying to get in, they’d know about it. The home itself was small, two bedrooms and a living room attached to a kitchen. It was more than enough so long as it meant Saeyoung would have Saeran. 

Saeyoung stood back to admire his work after his finished planting the last camera. He checked the feed on his laptop and nodded to himself. There were no blind spots, which meant no points of easy entry available for anyone to worm their way in. His firewalls were strong as ever and his confidence in his work no longer wavered. This would be their safe place.

“Finished?” Jumin asked from behind him, surprising Saeyoung enough to make him flinch. Jumin soothed him with a gentle hand between his shoulder blades. 

“Yeah. Everything looks good.” Saeyoung clicked through the feed once more to double check before closing the laptop and turning to face Jumin, “When do we leave?” He asked.

Jumin tucked a stray piece of hair behind Saeyoung’s ear as he studied him before saying, “When Jihyun arrives we will leave. I spoke with him a half hour ago, so he should be here soon.” 

Saeyoung nodded and wrung his hands together for lack of anything better to do with them. They were shaking, proving just how not in control he was even though he tried his best to seem so. Part of it was excitement. Seeing Saeran again was a high all by itself, but V’s words weighed heavy on his mind. If something happened to Saeran, Saeyoung didn’t know who he’d be angrier at, V or himself. 

“I can see the wheels turning in your head, Saeyoung. You need to breathe and trust that everything will work out.” Jumin’s fingers trailed along Saeyoung’s jaw, successfully drawing the hacker’s attention back to the present. “I’m right here, just focus on me.” That was something Saeyoung could do and would happily do. Jumin’s usually steely gaze always softened when his eyes were on Saeyoung, which must mean something, something dangerous like love. Saeyoung didn’t want to worry about _that_ right now, but it was becoming abundantly clear he’d have to worry about it at some point because goddamn it, he was falling in love with Jumin Han. 

“Yeah, yeah… I see you.” Saeyoung breathed, chest tight with way too many feelings. 

“Good. Now, I want you to listen to me for a moment. Whatever happens today we will handle. If your brother, if Saeran is injured, or there happens to be something wrong with him, I will make sure he is taken care of. If you are put in danger today because of me, know that I will not forgive myself if you are hurt. I will not forgive Jihyun either if something happens to you. Do you understand me, Saeyoung? I will let nothing come between us.” Jumin’s tone was a little too serious for Saeyoung’s liking. Or, maybe it was just enough, exactly what he needed because aside from his pounding heart he felt calmer. 

“Sound a little desperate there, Mr. Director.” Saeyoung tried to joke, but his voice was strained.

“It’s you who makes me this way.” God, sometimes Jumin was way too honest. He’d no doubt be the death of Saeyoung. Both their heads turned when they heard tires crunching on gravel and V’s driver parked beside Saeyoung’s car. “That’ll be Jihyun. Are you ready?” Jumin asked.

Saeyoung nodded, “More than ready.” 

As the two approached the car, V stepped out from the passenger side, “Jumin,” he greeted, “I assume all the preparations have been made?” For once, V’s ever present sunglasses were missing and Saeyoung could see his foggy eyes that were distant and unfocused. 

“Indeed. Saeyoung has readied everything and I will assure the two of them will be safe here. Do you plan on informing us of what is going on now, or are we walking into this blindly?” Jumin was all business, apparently having grown impatient with V’s secrets. 

“In the car, if you wouldn’t mind. Best we get on the road sooner than later.” V smiled, but his expression remained pained. Saeyoung followed Jumin as he climbed into the backseat. He took Jumin’s hand once they began driving and V half turned in his seat to speak to them. “You seem to have found solace in each other. I’m very happy for that, Jumin.”

Jumin cleared his throat, faint blush coloring his cheeks, “Thank you.”

“Please know my recent distance with the RFA has not been by choice. Something I thought I could handle became too much for me and now I realize my mistake. Your brother, Saeyoung, is not well. I fear for him and so I’m glad this chance has come to remove him from where she’s held him.”

“Who? What do you mean he’s not well?” Saeyoung asked, worry churning his stomach.

V bit his lip as he shook his head, “I cannot fully say. It’s rare that I see him. He’s… been led to believe things that are not true, which in hindsight is a fault of my own, however I never foresaw this spiraling so out of control. She wanted a perfect world. She believes what she’s doing is good, though you and I know better. She’s ill, as she’s always been, though I hoped she was getting better.”

“ _Who_ , V? Who the hell took Saeran?” Beside him, Jumin sat ridged with his lips pressed tightly together, eyes dark and trained on V.

“You lied to us.” Jumin said.

“I know it was a mistake, Jumin. But I feared she’d endanger the members of the RFA. I thought removing her and caring for her on my own would be beneficial.” V’s foggy blue eyes were watering as they searched fruitlessly for Jumin’s face. 

“You could have told us.” Jumin argued, “You know very well every one of us would have been willing to help. None of us knew she was ill. Are you aware the pain you’ve unnecessarily put Yoosung through? Imagine if he were to find out, which I’m sure he inevitably will when Saeyoung returns home with a brother. Did you not consider the repercussions of your actions before doing this, Jihyun?”

At the mention of Yoosung, things finally clicked for Saeyoung. “Rika’s alive?” He asked, tone full of disbelief. “And she, what? She’s hurt Saeran? V, you promised—you both promised to keep him safe. What do you mean she’s ill?!”

Tears fell freely from V’s eyes, sliding slowly down his flushed cheeks as he pressed his lips together. Jumin squeezed Saeyoung’s hand in hopes to soothe him, but Saeyoung’s world was tilting on its axis. The people he trusted most had betrayed him. 

“I never meant for any of this to happen, Saeyoung. Please believe me when I say I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“I don’t want to hear your excuses. I want to know what happened to my brother and why the hell you lied to us about Rika’s death.” Saeyoung snapped, patience running thin.

V swallowed thickly before nodding, “Of course. It was never discussed, but Rika is mentally ill. She’s severely depressed, or she was. I’m certain there is more, she’s disturbed, but she refused to continue seeing a therapist. I thought I could be enough for her, to help her and make her see what a truly beautiful person she was, but it was rare for her to believe me. She thought the world ugly and painful. She wished to make a certain paradise where those who joined her would be free of pain, of suffering such an existence, but what she’s done is created a hell. Whether she knows what she’s done or not, I do not know.” 

Saeyoung dropped his head to his hands, the heels of his palms rubbing furiously at his burning eyes. He didn’t want to hear this. He didn’t want to think about the kind of state his brother was in now, about the kinds of things Rika may have done to him. Their home life was bad enough, Saeran didn’t deserve something half as bad or even worse and especially not without Saeyoung there to take care of him. He couldn’t help but feel this was his fault in the first place. Had he just refused V and Rika at the beginning, would they have been able to make it out alive? He used to tell himself all he did, he did for Saeran, but now he wasn’t sure. Perhaps he was just selfish after all.

Jumin ran a comforting hand up Saeyoung’s back, but it did little to stop the redhead from shaking. He was furious, terrified, but above all else, determined to get his brother back. “I stand by what I said, Saeyoung. I promise you, it’ll be alright.” 

Saeyoung wanted to believe that, but neither of them knew for certain. All he had left now was hope, which was a finicky thing that he hardly counted on, but it seemed he had no other choice. He supposed he had Jumin as well and when he peeked out of the corner of his eye at him, he found Jumin in a similar state of distress. His gaze was focused out the window, but his hand remained on Saeyoung’s back comfortingly. Yes, if all else failed he had him.

The drive seemed to go on forever, but eventually they parked in front of what looked like was a church at some point. The building looked unwelcoming, but Saeyoung wasn’t deterred. He stepped out of the car first, Jumin right behind him. The second car, the one with Jumin’s security personnel, parked behind them. V stepped out of the vehicle, sunglasses back on and cane in his hand. “I’m sorry.” He murmured before dropping his head and walking toward the door. 

Saeyoung was on edge. Nothing here screamed friendly and he got the distinct feeling they were walking into something much darker than he’d originally thought. His fears were confirmed after they entered and he saw people walking around with hoods pulled up over their head, hanging low to shield their eyes. Muffled whispers spread around the room as they passed through, but no one approached them. 

As they grew closer to the arched doorway to another room, Saeyoung could hear murmured words that reminded him of hymns, melodic in tone, but repeating like a mantra. He didn’t like it, it caused goose bumps to form on his arms. V stepped into the room, Saeyoung stayed close behind him and blanched when his eyes landed on the person at the front of the room leading the rest of the cloaked people in what appeared to be prayer. Rika. 

She noticed them nearly right away, halting her words and frowning as she looked at V. “You dare interrupt the cleansing?” Her voice rang through the entire room, “And you bring unwelcome visitors. I thought I made it clear that I was finished with you, Jihyun.” 

V flinched, but Saeyoung wasn’t paying attention. His focus was on the man now standing amidst the rest of the kneeled people. His hood was pushed back and his robe was untied. His piercing gaze was locked on Saeyoung and a twisted, malicious grin lifted his lips. Saeyoung almost didn’t recognize him, but how couldn’t he? He’d know his brother regardless of bleached hair and contacts. “Saeran,” He breathed, eyes immediately welling with tears. Jumin’s hand around his wrist was the only thing holding him in place. 

“Savior, please. Allow me to remove them.” His voice, once so familiar was hardly recognizable. Saeyoung ached. They’d spent far too long away from each other. 

Rika didn’t bother to turn her attention to Saeran, instead completely ignoring him as she addressed a handful of other hooded people, “Escort these two elsewhere. We will see them cleansed soon enough. Certainly they will benefit us here in paradise. You, Jihyun, will leave now. You’ve proven yourself useless to me.”

“Rika, please” V began at the same time Saeran’s voice shot up.

“No! Savior, Saeyoung is a traitor! You said so yourself. He doesn’t belong here. You chose me, not him!” 

“Saeran, don’t you see? Saeyoung will be a great asset. I gave you your chance, remember?” Rika’s dismissal appeared to further upset Saeran. 

“He has no right to be here after what he’s done to me! You told me that!” 

“Take Saeran away as well, it appears he’s lost his faith.” She instructed to the men hovering beside Saeyoung and Jumin. One of them grabbed Saeran’s arm, but Saeyoung was quick to move, placing himself between his brother and the men. 

“No… I won’t let you take my brother away from me again.” Jumin watched warily, taking half a step toward the two before stopping. “Saeran, let’s go home. Please, come with me.”

“Saeyoung,” V cut in, “take him and go.”

“What authority do you have here?” Rika asked, turning to V. 

Jumin drew closer, “Let’s go.” He murmured quietly. Saeyoung pleaded for Saeran to come, but his twin appeared conflicted. 

“No, no, this wasn’t how it was supposed to happen. You think you can walk back into my life and I’ll allow that?! I’ll kill you, Saeyoung!” Though his words dripped venom, Saeran made no move to hurt Saeyoung so Saeyoung swiftly guided him from the room with Jumin right behind them. Jumin could still hear V pleading with Rika, but he knew this was over all of their heads. Something needed to be done and so it would be, but right now, they needed to get out.

Saeran put up a hell of a fight when Saeyoung tried to get him into the car with him and Jumin. He hurled insults and threats left and right, but he did little physical harm to Saeyoung. Eventually, the man began to shake with sobs and Saeyoung managed to maneuver him into the backseat of the car. He passed out slumped against the window after only ten minutes of driving. Saeyoung could hardly take his eyes off his brother.

“He should see a doctor, Saeyoung.” Jumin spoke softly from the front seat.

“I know.” Saeyoung agreed, but the last thing he wanted to do was let Saeran out of his sight or risk either of them being found by the agency. “What about V?” He asked. They’d left him behind in favor of getting the hell out of there, but would he be okay? Though Saeyoung was beyond upset with him, he still felt obligated to see him safe. 

“My priority first is you and now Saeran. I will worry about Jihyun later, though I think he can handle himself. I believe he knows Rika best.” Jumin said.

A wave of emotions crashed over Saeyoung then. He had his brother back, he had Jumin, and he had the possibility of a new life ahead of all three of them. Relief flooded through him first and then a fondness so strong for Jumin he wanted to cry. “I owe you so much.” He said, voice hardly a whisper. 

“You owe me nothing, Saeyoung. I made a promise if you recall.” Jumin smiled at him, an expression that warmed Saeyoung from his head to his toes. “I don’t think things will be easy from here on out, unfortunately. I’m afraid Saeran has been severely abused and mislead. The healing process will take patience and dedication, both of which I know you have, but I want you to know I will still be beside you.”

Saeyoung held his hand out for Jumin, who took it and squeezed, “Thank you… for everything you’ve done.” He said softly. Jumin merely nodded then kissed Saeyoung’s knuckles before releasing his hand.

The drive was quiet, though long. Saeyoung concentrated on Saeran’s breaths, unsure whether or not he was awake. Jumin allowed him time to be alone with his thoughts, which Saeyoung needed. He was willing to bet a breakdown was inevitable after such huge changes in his life. He always hated change and never handled it well, but this was for the better. If he had to jump through hoops just to see that Saeran was alive and well, he’d do so. Saeran could hate him all he wanted, hit him, kick him, spit insult after insult at him, but Saeyoung would never love him any less.

By the time they finally arrived back at the safe house, Saeyoung felt beyond tired. Saeran, apparently still asleep, didn’t move so he carried him into the house and placed him in the bed he’d made for him. He pulled the door shut softly behind him then collapsed onto the small loveseat in the living room. Jumin hovered, unsure what to do with himself. 

“What if I can’t fix him? What if this isn’t something that can be fixed? He hates me, Jumin, and I don’t even know what I did wrong. I’ve never heard my brother talk like that. What did she do to him?” Saeyoung whimpered, tears threatening to fall. 

Jumin sighed as he sat beside the redhead, “She’s convinced him you are the enemy. With no one else to turn to, he had no choice but to believe her and I’m certain there are more aspects we’re unaware of, but he is still your brother. I would not use the word ‘fix’ for this situation. He is going to need some time to heal, Saeyoung.”

“I’ll give him all the time he needs. I’ll write him a goddamn book about how much I’ve missed him and what I’ve done to bring him back to me if that’s what he wants. I won’t stop until he knows how much I love him, until he knows he’s safe here with me and that I’ll never ever leave him again.” Saeyoung said while leaning into Jumin’s warm embrace. Jumin held him together, arms strong around his shoulders that shook with silent sobs. 

“That’s all he’ll need from you. Support him as best as you can and I will see to it that he has a doctor and perhaps a therapist. I cannot assure you that this will go smoothly or easily at all. I only know that you’re all he has, Saeyoung.” Saeyoung felt Jumin press a gently kiss to his hair.

“Whatever he needs.” Saeyoung promised both himself and his brother. He’d do anything for him, even if it meant keeping his distance.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe this is too straight to the point or whatever, but if I had kept writing I probably wouldn't have stopped so here we have an easy resolution and the happy ending I so crave. Hope you enjoy~

Saeyoung had heard once before that time heals all wounds and while that may be true for physical wounds, the same can’t be said for mental ones. Saeran, while doing much better than when Saeyoung first brought him home, still had nightmares and refused to let anyone touch him. He was still snippy with Saeyoung and complained about seeing his therapist, but Saeyoung tended to think slow process was better than no process. 

It’d been six months now and with Vanderwood paid off, the agency was no longer a concern. V had managed to get Rika the professional help she so needed and Jumin made sure the organization she’d began was shut down, those in need treated, and V’s eyes finally fixed. Saeyoung moved him and his brother to a nicer home, one where Saeran could come and go as he pleased and where Jumin often visited with flowers and a sweet smile. 

Jumin, who Saeyoung still had no label for, stood beside him and often times beside Saeran as well. Jumin’s patience was some days greater than Saeyoung’s, which was a blessing in itself. There was no telling where Saeyoung would be without him.

“You appear to be thinking too hard again. I was told when your wrinkle your forehead like that it quickens the aging process.” Jumin said from beside him, thumb smoothing out the furrow of Saeyoung’s eyebrows. The two were in the kitchen, Jumin cooking dinner while Saeyoung pretended to help. 

“Who told you that?” Saeyoung asked.

“Yoosung.” 

“Yoosung doesn’t know anything.” Saeyoung said as he rolled his eyes. Jumin pursed his lips as though he was thinking about arguing, but held his tongue. Saeyoung squinted at him, “What? What is it that you want to say?”

Jumin shrugged, a movement that was quickly becoming more common the more time he spent around Saeyoung. “Only that he seems to know Saeran fairly well.”

Saeyoung couldn’t argue with that. Of all the RFA members, Saeran took to Yoosung the best. That was a bit of an exaggeration, though. Saeran was hardly sociable and tended to be more hostile than anything, but he was less so with Yoosung and willingly sought out the blonde’s company, which Yoosung ate up. It was no secret that Yoosung was developing a certain fondness for Saeyoung’s brother and so long as the two were happy, Saeyoung didn’t care. 

“I think he’s good for him.” Saeyoung mused.

Jumin hummed his agreement, “They even each other out fairly well. I think Yoosung has enough enthusiasm for the both of them. Whether or not anything will come of it,” Jumin shrugged again, “time will tell.”

Saeyoung nodded then Jumin turned back to the stove. He could hear the sound of footsteps before the front door opened and then there was Yoosung’s animated voice chattering away. Saeran was no doubt with him, humoring the blonde by pretending to listen. Saeyoung didn’t know how much Saeran actually paid attention to what Yoosung was saying, but it was nice to see the two together regardless. Yoosung brightened any room he was in, which was probably why Saeran gravitated toward him in the first place even if he didn’t want to admit it. 

“Dinner is finished.” Jumin said softly as he wrapped his arms around Saeyoung’s waist. Saeyoung leaned into the strong chest behind him as he closed his eyes and breathed. 

“Are you happy?” He asked seemingly out of the blue, though he’d been thinking about it all day. He worried often about Jumin’s decision to stay hanging around.

Jumin was silent for a moment, which worried Saeyoung, but then he laughed. “What kind of question is that? Am I happy in this moment? Am I happy all the time? Am I happy with a specific aspect of my life?”

“All of the above?” Saeyoung tried. 

“Then yes. I am happier than I can ever recall being.” Jumin kissed Saeyoung’s temple. Saeyoung could feel his smile.

“I love you, you know.” Saeyoung said, the words feeling foreign, but oh they were long overdue.

Jumin spun him around then, hands cradling Saeyoung’s face as his grey eyes flickered between Saeyoung’s golden ones. “Say that again if you wouldn’t mind.”

Saeyoung grinned at him, “I love you.”

Jumin kissed him then. Saeyoung rested his hands on his chest, feeling his heartbeat erratically under his fingers. “I love you.” Jumin said when they parted, his lips still brushing against Saeyoung’s. “I love you so much.” He peppered kisses all over Saeyoung’s red face until someone cleared their throat and they both looked left to see Yoosung rubbing the back of his neck, Saeran beside him looking irritable. 

“Ah, just in time. Dinner is done.” Jumin said with a smile as he stepped away from Saeyoung and retrieved plates from the cupboard. 

“Saeran~” Saeyoung greeted with arms spread wide.

“Don’t touch me, freak.” Saeran ducked under Saeyoung’s arms, but his words held no real bite and he wore a smirk. 

Progress, while slow was all Saeyoung wanted. One step forward was worth it even if some days they took two steps back. Whatever Saeran needed, Saeyoung would give him and whatever Jumin wanted, Saeyoung would be that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and leaving lovely comments! <3 I appreciate youuu


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